Time to quit yet?

I realize I am not the normal CrossFitter which is both awesome and sad. It means I’m doing something most people like me (whatever that may be) don’t do. I know I’m older than anyone else at my box, but I’m not the oldest person in the world doing CrossFit. I also know I sat around too long doing nothing and I’m not robust or even working up to being actually fit.

I also know that CrossFit is scalable. Everybody could do CrossFit if they wanted to. It is that niggling matter of wanting to do this that is what makes me proudest. I keep going even when my box isn’t geared to taking care of clients like me.

As far as I know, there aren’t a lot of folks from the box heading out to garage games or making nationals or doing anything other than showing up and working hard. We aren’t cranking out champions here. I’ve heard the word “outlaw” bandied about. I think it is wonderful to challenge your people with workouts that make them push themselves and make them grow in all ten areas of fitness.

I also think it is reasonable to assume that I’m not the only person who struggles with the proscribed WODs. There aren’t Rx things posted after all the names, so I’m not the only person scaling. I could probably have figured out how to do today’s WOD on my own, but for some reason known only to the gods, we started doing partner WODs on Fridays. This means I’m saddled with someone with who is pushing at a whole different level than I am. And they are saddled with me holding them back.

This might be fun if it took into consideration that I’m not fit or agile or capable of many of the different things that those who are younger and have been doing this for longer can do. However, there are times when I’m simply overwhelmed by the entire prospect of even showing up.

This doesn’t “encourage” me to “try harder” it only makes me think I should just stop and go back to fat slob and sit here and not feel guilty about not being able to do what younger, fitter, healthier, more athletic people can accomplish. It is defeating.

The WOD as written:
Partner Bear Complex!
- A Bear Complex is 7 times through this complex:
Clean + Front Squat + Push Press + Back Squat + Push Press
(The bar cannot be dropped during the entirety of the complex, or else it does not count.)
- You will have 15 minutes to find a max Bear Complex. Both Partners must complete the Complex.
Immediately when the clock hits 15 minutes:
7 Rounds for Time:
10 Deadlifts 315/209#
15 Box Jumps 30/24″
- While one partner is working, the other partner must hold a Handstand. If they come out of the handstand, the person working must stop until the other is back into a handstand.
- Each team can use only one barbell. If one partner requires a different weight, the team must change the weight before continuing.

Doesn’t this look challenging? I can’t do 35 lifting moves without stopping even with the lightest bar. So after 15 minutes of working hard, immediately lift 100 pounds more than I have ever lifted or stand on my hands while someone else does. Then do box jumps on a 24″ box, another feat I’ve never even tried.

Okay, I know I could drop the deadlift weights and drop the height of the box. I also know you just have one person doing all the deadlifts if you don’t both use the same weight. Now, what about the fact that I have never been able to do a handstand. I have been able to walk up the wall and get to a 120⁰ angle or so, but I can’t get upright. And I can’t hold it for very long even when I don’t have a sore arm.

This is the first time I have ever looked at a WOD and just stayed home because it was overwhelming. I know I didn’t go to the box yesterday but that was because I was hurt. I did get a massage and my arm is about 80% better.

I also made up my own little workout yesterday. I did a 200 meter run, ten squats, ten cherry pickers, lunged back and forth in my living room and entry way which was about equal to lunge down the mat, did ten of the stretches for my sore arm, and ten dislocates. My stick wasn’t long enough to clear my head for the passthroughs. Then I did a horrid tabata with sit-ups and Supermans. My score was 6 and 9 and I managed to do the same numbers all eight times. I never did anything to put pressure on my sore arm.

I hate that my box is defeating me by assuming we are all on the same level of fitness when the entire premise behind CrossFit is that we aren’t all on the same level and it is all scalable and everyone can do this. Maybe I’m defeating myself and I should have just showed up and made them think of a way to make this work for me. Or maybe I should just hang it up and realize this place isn’t really for me. It is for athletes and not Little Old Ladies.

 

Playing hooky

Monday’s WOD did something to my right arm. I came home and had trouble lifting the gallon of milk. I don’t even really know what it was, but I’m guessing something with the wall balls because I really can’t see how jumping rope would hurt my arm.

Tuesday was worse. I almost cried when I picked up the milk. My arm didn’t hurt DURING the workout, but I was so focused on tire flips with a burpee and trying to do band assisted pull-ups, that I may not have noticed if I actually had burst into flames.

When I got into the car and tried to put it into gear, I knew I was in trouble. After I had to use two shaky hands to put milk in my coffee, I realized I needed input from someone who knew more about this than I did. I stopped at the box on the way to work and asked Kim what to do to stretch my biceps. I couldn’t figure out how to work this out on my own. She had a couple stretches.

I have been doing those and my arm is marginally better. I took Wednesday off because I always do. I have a massage today after work. My plan was to look at the WOD for today and try to make an informed decision on whether or not to go to the box.

The WOD as written:
Spend 20 minutes working on maintaining a Hollow body in multiple positions – Handstands, Dip Supports, Hanging from Pull up bar, etc.
- (I’d spend a little extra time working on a stable handstand position. You just might need it tomorrow….)
Tabata Russian Twists
- 20/14# Med Ball. Must touch the ground on either side each rep
- 1 minute Rest
Tabata Kettlebell Swings 24/16 kg.

This is in an entire day of working with my arms. Everything listed in the WOD is arms. Everyone knows I hate tabatas. I really didn’t want to be a weenie and be accused of skipping out because this is a tabata day. So I set my alarm and thought I would see how the arm is and maybe head to the box.

I got up when the alarm went off. I immediately got out of bed and did a push-up without any problem. So I thought I might be able to get the day in. Then in dawned on me that the part of my arm that hurts isn’t really

Well, I didn’t.

affected by a push-up it. So I went to the kitchen and tried to pick up what is now only a bit more than a half-gallon of milk. That hurt.

Even a ten pound med ball was going to be aggravating the part of my arm that has been hurting since Monday. This would probably be really stupid. KB swings was not going to be something of disinterest to my sore arm either.

If this had been push-ups I might have tried it (and regretted it) or if it had been Supermans I would surely have given it a go. But this is just all arms where my arm hurts.

Apparently tomorrow is going to be handstands, and if my arm is functional after my massage tonight, I will give it a go. I like being a jock, but I don’t have to be a dumb one.

Either that, or I’m sticking with the “Discretion is the better part of valor” thing. I hate missing a day, but I hate missing more days later because I was stupid now.

 

Tire flip burpees – because, why not?

Everyone I’ve asked about getting my heart to beat more efficiently has given me the same answer. Interval training. I am supposed to go out in public and look like a lunatic drunk or something. I am supposed to out there and huff and puff and nearly topple over while I’m walking because I tend to do okay while running – it’s when I stop that is the problem. My heart rate is high and there I am looking like an idiot as the cars go by.

That sounded like so much fun that I thought I would give it a try. I lived. Before I started, I was concerned about all the leg stuff we did yesterday and then running after all that. My legs were fine. It was the huffing and puffing and trying to keep my cardiac output up in order to support my oxygen needs that was the problem.

I probably have to do this more than once to get any benefit from it and that means I have to do that all over again soon. I’m so looking forward to it.

Today, the 6 AM regulars were all there. We started out with a nice easy 200 meter jog, something I can actually do. Although my easy jog is about my top speed so I was the last one back. Lunge down the mat followed by dislocates and passthroughs and ten good mornings ended this portion of the warm-up. Then, because Roxanne burpees are so fun, we got the parallettes out (I had a dumbbell) and jumped laterally back and forth twice every time they woof-woofed on Who Let the Dogs Out.

I knew the parallettes were too high for me to keep jumping over and I even tripped on the dumbbell once. However, I could manage the whole thing until the very end when I started beeping and missed the last three woofs.

The WOD as written:
Happy Birthday Cris!
For time:
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
Tire Flip Burpees
Strict Pull ups

If you add all those numbers up, they equal 55. I’m just not that good. I thought about this and short of bringing the spare tire to the HHR in with me, I wasn’t sure where to go. So I thought I would cut the reps.

I began at 8 and that meant I had 36 of each of the moves to get through. That was far too optimistic and I should have started at 7, but I didn’t know that before I started. So I was stuck with my choice, no matter how poor of a choice it was.

I could manage three tire flips with a burpee before I would beep. So the eight was done as three, three, and two. I usually do ring rows but I will never get to a pull-up if I don’t at least try. I used a green band and managed to get the pull-ups done, but it took two sets.

Next round was three, two, and two on the tire flips and then four and three on the pull-ups. Then two, two, and two on the tire flips, but I managed all six pull-ups together. Then three and two and all five, two and two and all four, three and three, two and two and one and one. It took me 24.36 to get them in because I was resting for much of the time trying to get my heart rate back down.

It only got over 170 once and that was after the six pull-ups. I would wait for it to drop between 152 and 154 to start the tire flip burpee stuff or to go to the pull-up bar. It seemed to work except that I simply have to keep resting. If I start at the high 150s I beep again too soon and get too high to keep going.

I don’t know if it was the tire flips, the burpees, or the pull-ups, but my right arm is sore already. I had trouble putting milk in my coffee because the gallon was too heavy. Luckily tomorrow is my day off and maybe I will magically heal before Thursday. Or maybe Thursday will be leg stuff.

I wish I had started at seven and not killed myself this morning. But I did manage to finish even though I started at eight. So, maybe it is a good thing that’s where I began today’s WOD.

 

Pistols scaled

Great weekend where I ate too much and most of it food I don’t usually have. I had pizza Friday night, brownie/ice cream/whipped cream/chocolate sauce on Saturday night, and a whole bag of potato chips was in front of me on Sunday so I have no idea how many I had. I did have two hot dogs. I could have stopped at one. But I didn’t.

But I got to play with the babies for Mother’s Day and that was a good thing. They are all getting so big. I’m used to my sons being adults, but it really difficult to see their kids growing up so quickly and turning into big people.

I managed to not sleep in the car which meant I could get to bed at a reasonable time so I could get up in the middle of the night to go work off some of the fat I had all weekend long. Since we grilled out for a late lunch, I wasn’t hungry for any real supper. I did eat a bit, but it wasn’t high protein fuel. I had a hardboiled egg and a grapefruit. Which might have combated some of the bad stuff I ate all weekend.

I looked at the WOD last night and cringed. Really? Pistols? Me? Why doesn’t someone just hold one to my head and pull back the trigger?

But, I went to the box anyway because it is all scalable. Lord help me, it needs to be.

First thing I noticed was that Ricky was cheating on us. He was at the 5 AM class. What is happening to the world? He said he had to work early today. Then, Candace didn’t show up. Good grief. I was the only 6 AM regular and I am highly irregular. Luckily, Ed, Steve, and Todd were there so I wasn’t the only nitwit athlete. How strange.

Warm-up was a 1000 meter row and I started last and finished last. Then inchworm with a push-up down the mat and I had to have a little break in the middle to stop beeping. End with dislocates and passthroughs.

The WOD as written:
Snatch Complex Time! Spend 15 minutes working up to a max in this complex:
Hang Snatch (just below knees) + Snatch (from the floor)
- You must maintain your grip on the bar between movements.
6 Rounds for Time:
10 Pistols (alternating Left/Right)
20 Wall-balls 20/14#
30 Double-unders (If you don’t have double-unders, each attempt counts as one)

I don’t jerk well and no one wants to see my snatch. I just don’t have the move down. I practiced with a PVC pipe. Today, Ryan was coaching and he thought it might work better with a bit of distributed weight. Maybe he should fill a PVC pipe with cement. I mentioned the possibility of sand and capping the ends. He thought that would work. Let’s see. I started asking for this sometime back in September. I bet it never happens.

I eventually worked with a couple 3# dumbbells mostly because I couldn’t find the 5# ones in the mix and I didn’t want to do 8# because I’m a weenie. But I got the move down a little better and some day I’m going to be able to really do a snatch with a bar and then in some far future date, it will even have plates on it. All I have to do is keep trying. “Do or do not; there is not try.” Yoda

No one could really do the pistols. We all hung on to the rings and dropped and powered back up. I’m sure I used my arms more than I was supposed to, but I tried using my leg as much as possible. It certainly wasn’t pretty but I wasn’t sure I could do that at all. I tried. I did it. I mentioned that I might just go to squats in later rounds. I didn’t.

Wall balls make me sick. I mean that. Literally, they make me sick. Up and down makes me sick anyway and that close to the lined wall just aggravates the whole thing. I used the baby ball and could really squat and really hit the line. I would close my eyes until after the throw and then open them to see to catch the thing and not have it hit me in the face. It helped a little.

The first round I managed 12 before I stopped. After that, I would do 7, 7, and 6 and let my heart rate come back down after each bit. At one point, Ryan was urging me on and I pointed to my watch. He came to look. I was at 167 and he said it was a bit high. I know I spent between ⅓ and ½ of my time today trying to have a heart rate compatible with life. I also know it is coming back down quicker. It just isn’t quick enough and it is the one thing that irritates me the most.

I opted to do 90 jumps for the 30 double unders I can’t do. I did not go with the 120 jumps but pretended I was still in Hilton Head and just tripled the number instead of quadrupling. I get to make my own stuff up.

Since I kept the numbers the same for each round, Ryan asked me if I wanted to cut back on the rounds. I thought I might be able to get in five rounds. But everyone else was done and I was just finishing up round four. It was 26.25 when I finished. Ryan came over and said I had been working a long time and it would be okay to stop at that round. I agreed.

I don’t know if was too much arms on the pistols or too many wall balls. But when I got my morning coffee poured, I tried to pick up a brand new gallon of milk (8 damn pounds) and it hurt my arm. I’m such a beast.

 

Partner WOD

So it was partner WOD again today. I feel sorry for my partner.  I simply do not pull my weight.

But I went anyway because it is Friday and I go to the box on Friday.

Our warm-up was a 200 meter run and I can actually do that, so I did. Ten cherry pickers and I can do those, too. Then squat and hold for three seconds and come out of the squat and leap forward and do that all the way down the mat. I got silly about half way. I just felt like some oversized blue frog. Dislocates and passthroughs followed and then – Roxanne burpees. I could do the burpees when they were separate, but when they started stringing them together, I just did push-ups, as the coach said I could. I had no idea she was filming it. I saw Ricky turn around, but I didn’t know why.

So there is a video of us doing this up on Facebook. Wonderful. Freaking great. My form is bad, BTW.

The WOD as written:
Pause Front Squats
- 12 sets of 2 @ 80% of your 1 RM Front Squat
- There is a 3 second hold at the bottom. Hold each other accountable so that everyone stays down there for the entire 3 seconds.
Get a partner because you’ll need one…
For Time:
30-24-18
Ground-to-Overhead 155/100#
Sprawl Balls 20/14# (pass to partner)
- After each of the 30/24/18 rounds, both partners must carry the barbell on a Parking Lot Run.

Candace and Ricky were partners and poor Todd got stuck with me. I learned today that he is Cindy’s husband which means that he lives right around the corner from me. On Tuesday, it was Wescott day as only Ricky, Cindy, and I were there and we all live in Wescott. Today, outlier Candace was participating, too.

So, Todd timed me and I timed him as we did our sets of front squats. I’m getting better at it, but I still have to take my shoes off in order to keep my toes up and stay on my heels. I was using 32# because I didn’t know how to get to 33.6 pounds which is the 80%. So this was no different than last week for me.

Todd and I discussed strategy. He used to come frequently and then took time off after he hurt his shoulder. He is just getting back to CrossFit and wasn’t sure of his power or stamina. He was doing front squats with a bar and 20 pounds added, but I couldn’t tell if it was a 33 or 44 pound bar. I have no idea what I was thinking, but I thought I might be able to overhead 42#. I really couldn’t. Well, I could once, but there wasn’t going to be repeats. I had to use 32#. Todd used the 42# bar I thought we could share. We used a 10# wall ball. I know how to do a sprawl ball, but I had to walk them out and back because I did nothing but beep for the entire time.

We thought I could do 5 ground to overheads, Todd 10 and repeat then pass the ball back and forth as proscribed. We actually did manage that for a while, but eventually I was beeping too much. So we took turns against the wall letting the other person rest.

We walked the parking lot with my lighter bar and never ran a step. On the second and third rounds, Todd did half the lifts, I did my little bit, and he finished. Then I started the sprawl balls and did as many as I could manage and he took over and then I took over and we finally got them done and then picked up the bar and walked around for a while.

He did most of the WOD and I just held him back. I wish I could manage to get my heart rate to stabilize. What I’m supposed to do is work out more and it will improve cardiac output and yet … I have been at this since September (taking off for a month while on vacation and sick), and I still beep all the damn time. I don’t know if it is getting better and so I’m pushing myself harder or if I just still suck big time.

I worked as hard as I could and poor Todd still did the majority of the work. I don’t like when I’m always last or always the lowest number, but at least it is just me who is last and lowest. I feel like I’m the punishment for showing up on Fridays.

Anyway, Todd and I finished in 16.03. And we did finish. Finally. What a hot mess I am.

 

Death by 10 meters

It is Go To The Box Day and so I was up at the crack of middle of the damn night and dragged myself to the box. It was wonderful to sleep in yesterday although I only slept an extra half hour. Getting up without an alarm clock is heavenly.

Tuesday’s progressions for a one hand push-up used different muscles or used muscles differently and my pecs and biceps have been screaming since I woke up yesterday. I looked at the WOD for today and there wasn’t a lot of arm stuff so I figured I wouldn’t totally suck. Then I really looked at the WOD and decided I would suck. But at least I would suck at the box instead of at Command Central so it would be different suckage.

I got to the box about five minutes early and used the lacrosse ball and that foam thing to try to work out the worst of the kinks.

Warm-up was a 400 meter row and that wasn’t too bad, although pulling on the cord didn’t make my chest or arms happy. I could manage without whimpering or anything. Next, Ryan complex down the mat and that was okay. At least it wasn’t Kim complex down the mat which I don’t think Caren knows about. Then ten cherry pickers, ten mountain climbers, and then plank a circle clockwise and counter-clockwise. This really made my chest sad.

The WOD as written:
Spend 20 minutes working on mobility that allows you to get a vertical torso in a Squat. Ever feel like you’ve been pulled under in a Wall Ball or even a Thruster? With a vertical torso, the load would rest on your shoulders and be supported properly over your area of base.
Test/Retest: Overhead Squat with Kettlebells
Death by 10 meters
EMOM you will run 10 meters. As each minute passes, you add an additional 10 meter run. You will do this until you fail to complete all 10 m runs within the minute.

My squat form is much improved and I actually feel pretty stable without any added weight. However, even with the ten pounds, I was wimpy. My arms do not stay back which then pulls me forward. I need to keep my arms locked out and the weights in the same place as where they started.

We were having a really hard time using a KB because then the hands are directly overhead rather than spread farther apart as in any squat with a bar. We moved to dumbbells and that helped some. I actually feel better after today’s WOD since I could really get my arms and shoulders worked on with a variety of stretches.

I had a plan for the death by 10 meters and then I didn’t follow it. I should have and I believe I could have gotten an extra minute or two. Although I really thought I would be done in under five minutes. I walked the first time. It took nine seconds to amble my way down the mat which meant I had to get past five minutes. But I was feeling wimpy and thought I really should participate in the spirit in which this is written. I will not make that mistake again. Being smart doesn’t stop at the door to the gym. Being smart can actually help in the gym and there is no reason to be dumb on purpose.

I ran the next four or five minutes. Then my heart monitor finally beeped and so I walked the next few minutes only and kept my pace quick and made each ten meters in less than nine seconds so it all worked.

On round ten I had to sprint the last ten meters to make it and on round eleven I had to run the last two and I had been beeping constantly for four minutes and now my heart rate was over 170 so I quit. But I made 110 meters which was far more than I thought I could do.

At one point, Candace said she should bank one and walk it too, but she didn’t. She got to 160 meters and probably could have managed a bit more had she banked one there around 90 or 100. Ricky made 180 meters.

If we had all started out walking while we could, we could have all run farther at the end. I don’t know what the premise of this is, but I’m not a distance runner at all and the goal seemed to be getting those higher numbers at the end when there was no resting time left between ending one round and starting the next.

If I see this type of WOD again, I’m going to bring my brain and go ahead and be a weenie at the beginning so I can be a beast at the end when it counts. Candace put her score up after me and said, “Hey, this is Rx, and added it to my number.” They are all so nice to me.

 

Off day

I don’t go to the box on Wednesday. I used to do Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but I switched to Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday and get a fourth WOD in. If my work schedule changes (and it might), I may rethink this schedule as well. I know I need to go first thing in the morning because if I think about it, I weenie out AND because it is now going to be hot, hot, hot for the later WODs. Doing this before sunrise makes sense.

I think part of what made me change is that Wednesday seems to be Brutal Hurt You Day at the box. I’m not sure if I’m overstating that or not, but the WODs always seemed to be more extreme or silly or whatever. It is hard to reconcile that with the fact that yesterday I was supposed to do a one handed push-up.

The WOD as written:
15 minutes to work up to a 1 rep max Split Jerk.
Take 85% of that weight and perform 1 Split Jerk EMOM for 4 minutes.
4 Rounds for Time:
15 Push Presses 95/65 #
40 Double-unders
20 Push Balls 20/14#
*Single-unders don’t count at all. If you don’t have DU’s, now is the time to get them.

Now, CrossFit is meant to be scaled so all athletes, even those of us who are non-athletic, can achieve something. I know my box is geared toward the higher end (I’ve heard I’m doing Outlaw here) although I’m not sure how many higher end folks are actually members. I know that a few make it to competitions so it isn’t that everyone is a slug or anything.

However, CrossFit is not supposed to be only for the elite, but for schmucks like me as well. This is the type of stuff that just drives me over the edge.

If you can’t do a double under, how in the hell are you supposed to do 160 of them? And it doesn’t even say that attempts count. This is just stupid. I would like to take the person who wrote this WOD and sit them down and not let them have any self of steam (aka self-esteem, but in our family …) until they produce the correct answer to a calculus problem containing the function of f of g as part of the problem. Or perhaps they just need to explain string theory to me in a way that is comprehensible.

But since I can do neither of those things, maybe I should ask Superjock to write a bit of code but only in html. Then write it in another language, like maybe C+ or something. Maybe this person could write out some coding for a matrix, I had lots of trouble with that.

Asking someone who can’t do one to do 160 is lunacy and a prescription for failure. We already have as part of the rules written on the board that you can’t Rx something unless you really Rx it. So for me to have shown up and done single unders would have been commendable. It certainly would have been better than me sitting here and writing something.

And, just as an aside, at CrossFit Summerville the punishment for not doing double unders is to do four times the number as single unders. For CrossFit Hilton Head’s I CAN games, a garage game that is actually for athletes, the rule is three times as many singles for the scaled workout. What the hell is going on here?

Anyway, I’m not interested in more than four WODs per week because I know that I need recuperative time as much as work out time and so spacing the WODs out makes sense. Getting up so early on non-work days is difficult but doable.

What I can do on my days off is still eat healthy. I don’t care about a Paleo diet. What I want is to eat whole foods and real foods and not some chemical shitstorm of “food” that comes from a box or a bag or a fast food restaurant. I want ingredients I can pronounce and I want reasonable servings.

Of course, I still want my junk food. I am not living without chocolate as it seems senseless to me. I’ve been eating one of my candy bars I brought back from Germany and it is delicious. Peppermint and milk chocolate and scrumptious all wrapped into one. I opened it last Friday and it should last for at least the rest of the day and maybe tomorrow, too. It was two servings.

You cannot exercise your way to thinness. It takes a reasonable diet as well. I can do that seven days a week. Even with junk food included.