Math is Real

This is something that I cannot figure out.

We live in a hierarchical society. Systems are designed with one person at the top, a few in the middle, and many at the bottom. There is one President, 50 Governors, and uncounted Mayors. There is one Principal, many Teachers, and loads of Students. One CEO, some VPs, more Middle Management, lots of Worker Bees. There is little room at the top because systems are pyramid shaped.

At the end of WWII, only a small number of people went to college. Maybe five to ten percent. Which, is about the percentage of jobs that are “good jobs”. Those students studied real subjects with real jobs waiting at the end of the college career, leading to inclusion in real careers. They were architects, doctors, engineers, lawyers, nurses, teachers, etc. And so their educations were part of the requirements for attaining the jobs they were seeking.

Today, our “best and brightest” which is apparently about 60% of us which defies an understanding of math, go on to college. They major in many things that do not have a job waiting at the end of the race. They are qualified for exactly the same jobs they were qualified for prior to enrolling in college and amassing monumental debt. However, their expectations have not changed. They still expect that more than half of the whole population will attain a “good job” at the end of their magic quest regardless of having majored in something that does not lead to any job, let alone a good one.

These remarkably brilliant people are somehow unable to figure out basic math. More than half of the jobs are simply that – jobs.

How are all these people leaving high school with such an inflated sense of achievement that more than half believe they are in the upper 5-10% of the population. The Dunning-Kruger effect is running wild.

You chose poorly. You aren’t starting your working life making six figures with a corner office on the top floor. Life doesn’t work that way.

Why do schools continue to offer this “path to success” that is full of weeds. If you aren’t going to college for a degree that has a real job at the end of it, if there isn’t a large listing demanding your degree as part of the requirements for hire – you don’t need to waste your time and somehow what you think should be my money. This is not the path to success.

Not all jobs are good jobs. Not all degrees are good degrees. We live our lives inside systems and they are all hierarchical with very few of us working at good jobs. We work at okay jobs. We all started out at the bottom and worked upwards over time.

I don’t understand how such smart young adults got through all this schooling without understanding math, culture, society, and/or reality.

 

Change is my friend, I think

Life is change. Without change, without some difference between right now and just before or after, there is no life. I inhale; I exhale. My heart contracts; my heart relaxes. Life demands change.

I’m not always happy with the change. I’m getting older by the minute because that’s the way both life and time work. It’s a changing world. But if I weren’t getting older, when would have stopped aging? Conception? Age two? Age thirty? When would I have wished to stop? Do I want to be taking care of an infant forever or do I want to appreciate my toddler grandchild – and then come home and sleep peacefully?

Over a year ago, I joined an insurance sponsored meeting place for senior citizens – a.k.a. old farts – at least in my head. This was great because I was (and remain) an old fart. There were educational lectures, message boards, Zoom meetings, all sorts of ways to connect. And I connected.

Although I am a bit shy when meeting new people face to face, I’m bold when online. I can type with alacrity. And I met lots of people. Some I liked right away. Some I liked after I got to know them better. Some I still don’t really like but can appreciate their place in the universe. I spent time with my online friends and grew comfortable in their presence.

And then – funding was cut. The site is shutting down on Friday. Noon, my time. Gone. Erased from the internet. Unless I want to go hunting on historical pages from the internet kinds of things. But that, too, may be erased somehow.

My friends and I would be apart.

Except, we are old farts, resourceful and purpose driven. And so, with some hard work and determined effort, a new site has already been created. Based on the old place, but with a fresh, new look. We don’t have a million dollars to spend, so the educational classes will not be offered. But we have our message boards and our game nights (which we ourselves have been sponsoring). We got a grant to cover the cost of the first year and access to lists of grants we might look into for future things – including paying for smart people to come and teach us stuff.

It’s a change. I’m not fond of too much change. I would like my familiar to remain. I know not everyone will migrate over to the new place and I will miss some of them a whole heck of a lot. I don’t want to lose any of the friends or even annoyances I have met over the last year. Quite frankly, the people who annoy me probably have more of a lesson to teach me than those who agree with me, since I already know what I know.

The people who have been working to get this thing up and running have done a tremendous job. The change will not be a devastating event, but rather a blip or inconvenience. But still a change. Because that is simply the way life works. Change; always change (except maybe from a vending machine).

 

I Found an Old Poem I Wrote

Why Even Try?
or Misguided Zealot

I am told I’m bad because I am ruled by biology.
I am told that history is not destiny.
I am told to disregard the drawings as Lascaux.
I am told to deny my carnivorous self.

Instead
Ruminate on this, oh despicable meat-eater.

You should shun your evilness.
You should shun your destiny.
You should shun the triumph of ancestors.
You should shun your carnivorous self.

Flesh eating is cruelty to animals
No word on other animals eating animals.
Not only flesh, but animal by-products as well
No milk, no cheese, no eggs.
Live off plants – they don’t have eyes.
No nutrition worries, it’s easy to be healthy.
Give up your carnivorous ways.

I’ve tried
And failed to make the more zealous happy.

I woke to my morning coffee
With cream.
I lunched on crackers
With cheese.
I supped on tomato soup
With milk.
I am a carnivore

Forgive me Mother Earth.
For I am as you made me.
I am the promise of my ancestors.
Living high on the hog.

 

Beer Cheese Soup

Ingredients

½ cup flour
1/3 cup margarine or butter
1 garlic clove, pressed
1 tablespoon grated onion
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon dry mustard
1/8 teaspoon pepper
3 cups chicken broth
1 ½ cups half and half
1 cup beer (I just use the whole can/bottle)
16 oz. (4 cups) shredded sharp cheddar cheese

Lightly spoon flour into measuring cup; level off. In large saucepan, melt margarine; stir in flour. Cook 1 minute, stirring constantly, until smooth and bubbly. Add garlic, onion, Worcestershire sauce, salt, mustard and pepper; blend well. Gradually stir in chicken broth, half and half and beer; cook until thickened, stirring constantly. Add cheese; stir until melted. Heat gently, stirring frequently; do not boil.    7 (1 cup) servings.

Hint: get everything ready before you start to cook. This goes really fast. 

 

Whine, whine, whine

Before A.C. Moore went out of business, I purchased two beautiful journaling books. On January 12 of this year, I started using one of them simply as a journal. Mostly what I did was whine. And then whine some more. My life is normal. I don’t get to do all the fun things that FOMO makes one believe everyone else is doing. That was before a pandemic, so with a pandemic and watching people ignore the safety regulations and do the things made my life seem even more pitiful.

My life isn’t really pitiful. I live comfortably. I have enough financial stability to be able to purchase the things I need and even just the things I desire. I have enough physical wherewithal to be able to continue with my normal daily activities. I have family scattered across the country and friends from more than half a century ago. I’m extremely lucky.

And yet I spend much of my time whining. I don’t do anything about the reasons for my whining, I just whine. And make myself miserable in my whining and then whine about that, too.

So beginning on February 12, I started writing in my journal on a more or less daily basis, a simple one page list. I started to record “Things That Went Well Today” and then realized I’m so freaking lazy, that was too much to write, so went to TTWWT.

Each day, I write down three things. And focusing on three things that went well each day made me whine less. Most of the time. Some days it was really difficult for me to come up with three things that went well. Not because it was a bad day, but because I had done jack shit all day long. But I would struggle to find something to put on my list.

We used to do this at dinner each night when the boys were growing up. You HAD to have the best thing that happened to you each day and you were ALLOWED to share the worst thing, if there was one. We started this tradition because Craig was miserable in his new school without all his old friends. He cried, “Nothing good happened today!” So I asked if he wet his pants on the bus and he looked at me as if I had just grown a second head and said, “No.” So I pointed out that not wetting your pants while riding the bus was a good thing, so he could count that.

It wasn’t too long before he was able to find something good in each day. Friends who would dine with us loved playing the game as well. Each person at the table got to share their day and all the other people had to listen. It made dinner conversation better for everyone as well as giving support to those who did really have a bad day and make all of us search for the good in our day to day lives.

Yesterday, I finished my journal. I wrote on the last page. I started to feel a little bit whiny when I thought about all the days when I had to repeat myself. I love clean sheets. I wash the sheets every Thursday and many of my Thursday postings had as an item “I love clean sheets” because I love clean sheets.

Because of COVID, Sistercation didn’t happen this past summer. We couldn’t fly so we Zoomed. And we have been Zooming ever since. My sisters and I have met at least twice a week for hours on end. This is the most time we have had together since we were kids living in the same house. But this is even more fun than that. And so, on many days, one of my items was Sistercation.

My life is wrapped in routine. I love routine. I love having things planned in advance. It lets me feel like I might be in control. This was especially true when the world was spinning out of control and people my age were dropping over dead from a teeny tiny virus.

I wondered to myself if this was something I wanted to keep up. I have that second journal purchased. Do I feel better noting that things really aren’t all that bad? Or do I feel worse because my life is not a whirlwind of excitement?

There were some very special days in the last year. Dax was born. That was just totally awesome. Aiden turned 18 and is now officially if not really an adult. Everyone in my family has managed to remain COVID free or had just a light case. Both of my sons have been able to continue working. Our retirement is going along well and even though we didn’t get to Italy or Germany, we did get to take an isolated trip to the mountains.

My life is not as exciting as the excerpts from Facebook. My life isn’t Instagram perfect. My life is normal, comfortable, and routine which is much better than chaotic and spinning out of control.

I started the second journal.

 

“Wolf”

The boy who cried “wolf” is a familiar story. We’ve heard it and understand it completely. When you lie to people again and again, they simply stop believing you. Conversely, if you repeat a lie often enough, it is held to be true.

I am unaware of a way to counteract the constant barrage of misinformation that is spread with lightning speed around the Internet. It is everywhere. It is legion. It is not going away.

I don’t remember this being such a devastating problem when I was younger. I understand that yellow journalism has been rampant for centuries, and perhaps it was just not as quickly disseminated. But today, the dumb shit gets passed around and around and around.

All sources are not equal. All “experts” aren’t expert. Your biases are not always based on facts. Your perspective is only one of many.

There are few absolute truths in the world. Every story has different angles and differing viewpoints. We know the ridiculousness of the Flat Earthers, but there are many out there who will eschew science because it is difficult to get past the biases they hold. So some truths are ignored or worse, denied.

I keep hearing how we need to teach students “how to think; not what to think” and I wonder how that works to combat Flat Earthers or Climate Deniers who simply don’t understand science and math and numbers and reality. They needed to be taught some of the more basic facts of life back in school.

Denying evolution as a “theory” tells me you don’t understand how science works. A Theory in science is an explanation of the facts. Hypothesis is the theory of the common world. I’m not sure why we have to use the same word in the wrong way out here in Everyday Land, but we do. No one argues, at least for very long, about the Theory of Gravity.

So how do we get past Fake News and Disinformation? It is so comforting to have one’s own biases supported. It is so uncomfortable to look for information that contradicts what you Feel by looking at what the experts Believe. So, we mostly don’t.

Algorithms might be great, but they are limiting our ability to see what is real. Anti-science biases lead to more free forming information and little to no science showing up on one’s screen and we all live by our screens. If we seek out the crackpots who disagree with experts, we see more and more of the crackpots and less and less of the experts and it gives the crackpots credence they don’t deserve.

The echo chamber of the Internet has actually reduced the ability to find what is true. There is opinion and outright lies next to facts and all are given the same weight until the algorithms determine you like or dislike the facts and if the latter, then the opinion and lies may take over your feed.

It is hard to know what is the best route in any situation. The Internet’s insistence of showing me more of what I’ve already looked for is not helping. The facts are elusive in the best of times and when unfeeling and uncaring algorithms take over the appearance of my searching, it becomes even worse.

I suppose these things were somewhat helpful years ago. They have now helped us into a state of idiocy and I’m unsure how to get a passport out.

 

Staying young in my old age

The entire aging process is shocking. We all know we are going to keep getting older, day by day, year by year. But in our youth, it is so far away as to be just barely feasible.

As we head into middle age, we still feel young enough to manage and don’t really consider the possibility of aging into something less. But we do. At least if we are lucky enough to stay alive, we will incrementally and undeniably get older and older until we finally hit that spot where we have to admit we are “old”.

I am old.

Inside my head, I’m still in my middle thirties. But my body is creeping up on seventy (and it isn’t very stealthy what with all the creaking, snappy joints and such). It is surprising when I see my mother’s hands sticking out of my sleeves or inadvertently notice her looking out of my mirror.

The best thing we can do to stave off the indignities of old age is to live a healthy life before we get there. The best way to do that is to eat a healthy diet. Eschew (not chew) junk food. Stay away from too many sweets. There is never a good reason to drink a soda.

I have not always eaten a healthy diet. I have lived for desserts my whole life. I’ve never been a big soda fan, but I’ve had my share. I am not a big fan of fast food. I don’t mind cooking most days. But still, I’ve not always followed healthy dietary guidelines. I’ve also never been obese (according to BMI charts).

I started doing CrossFit when I was 59. I was pretty sure I was too old for that nonsense, but I gave it a try and the coaches were willing to work with me and scale everything back so an old immobile, unbalanced weakling could do something for each WOD. As long as I was willing to show up, coaches have been willing to work with me.

Then COVID struck and I was confined to my home gym. Luckily for me, I had a barbell set and some other things. When I was first banished from the closed gyms, I was also lucky enough to quickly buy up some more equipment so I could continue to work out from home.

At first, I went through all my previous workouts (and I really do have a record of each and every workout I have ever done) and pick out ones that I could do here at home with the equipment I had available. Eventually, I hired a private coach who writes my programming for me so I don’t have to figure out what to do with myself continually.

And so I work out five days a week. It keeps me healthier, but it hasn’t kept me healthy. The aging process continues. I am slowly and inexorably falling apart. My only recourse against this eventual end is to try to keep myself as active, as mobile, and as strong as I can here and now.

Many of my workout are difficult for me to complete. I try to push the limits. I add weight. I perform the movements to the best of my ability. I’m always proud of myself as I finish up – still alive and panting like a lizard on a hot rock (as Bill used to say).

I used to tell myself that the younger people at the gym were all doing things that were easier for them than the same things were for me. But that was inaccurate. At the end of the WOD, all of us were panting, sweaty, tired, and proud. We were all working hard.

The way to stay young isn’t to color your hair or get Botox. The externals will never do anything to actually help you stave off the guy with the scythe. What does work, is healthy eating and keeping moving. Doing as much as you can for as long as you can will keep your insides working as well as they can. This is so much more important than what the outside looks like. Being strong, being flexible, being determined, being committed, being proud is key. The workouts are just a measure of how committed to my long lasting health I have become.

It isn’t perfect. It isn’t a panacea. It is simply the best I can do. The earlier you start, the more you can do and the longer you can do it. But if you haven’t started yet, there are still things you can do – today – to hold on to the health you still possess. I can guarantee it will be hard – and worth it.

 

We all have a voice

Everyone has a voice and we are encouraged to use it.

There are 1.7 billion (1,700,000,000) websites out there.

There are over 600 million blogs in the world. More than 600,000,000.

In the US alone, over 31 million (31,000,000) bloggers post at least once a month.

There are about 2.8 billion (2,800,000,000) Facebook accounts and 1 billion (1,000,000,000) Instagram accounts.

There are over 330 million (330,000,000) active users on Twitter.

There are over 430 million (430,000,000) reddit users with more than 2.5 million (2,500,000) subreddits to choose from and more than 130,000 active communities.

There are 31 million (31,000,000) You Tube channels. There are 30 million (30,000,000) viewers each day and 1 billion (1,000,000,000) each month. There are 1 billion (1,000,000,000) videos viewed each day. There are 500 hours of content uploaded to You Tube each minute. Only Google has more visitors each year.

I’ve written out the large numbers because when you see the word, the actual numbers seem less awe inspiring. But with the digits in their full expansion, it is absolutely astounding to see the numbers themselves.

These are only some of the more popular social media outlets and there are many, many more. Some are particularly suited to certain niches and have their own communities and advocates.

It would seem we have a lot to say. But not everything being said is of the same worth. There are more and more conspiracy theories out there getting wider and wider attention. Because of algorithms constantly curating the things we see, like minded people can lean into the thoughts that their very small community is much larger and more widespread than is actually the case.

The veracity of what is being said is always questionable. Even this is questionable. I did look up all the numbers, but I assumed the numbers I found were legitimate. I didn’t keep looking to make sure that each number was verified and I have no idea how to go about checking that my data is absolutely perfectly up to date.

So we speak or type or share or communicate. A lot. But who is listening? Who is reading this or anything else I or anyone else is writing? Who is looking to our brilliant missives for advice, inspiration, or even condemnation? How many hits or likes or looks or even glances do our writings get?

We are getting a feeling of significance as we hit post, publish, or enter. But what, really, is the purpose of all this jabbering? Who are we all writing for or to? Is it all just self serving? Do we actually make a difference with our words? How much influence does one need to become an influencer? And how important is it really, to apply one’s eye makeup perfectly?

Image is from: https://www.visualcapitalist.com/the-50-most-visited-websites-in-the-world/

 

Not Really

Sure you do that. It’s easy for you.

No, it isn’t.

I have watched people at the gym come in and not know what was going on because CrossFit is really hard. And it didn’t take them very long to zoom right past me, the old woman who struggles with everything gym.

I watched as my amazing compatriots did many amazing things. All the things that I cannot do. Pull-ups, squat snatches, running great distances, lifting really heavy weights. I would tell myself that it was easy for them, but as I really watched, I knew it wasn’t. They were struggling to do the things just like I was. They did more of the things, but they, too, had limits.

I’ve been told I’m “naturally thin” and I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean. Babies are all born at pretty much the same weight (if full term) there is a ballpark figure there and we all start out pretty much at the same place.

I’ve struggled with this pre-diabetic diagnosis now for a couple years. I’m pretty good at limiting my carbs and trying to get proper nutrients. But I struggle. While it isn’t a constant struggle, it is a daily decision made choice after choice. My weekly trip to the grocery store no longer leaves me in tears, but it does leave me bereft. I WANT the food I love, but I want my toes to stay attached even more. So, I leave the delicious junk I used to love to eat at the store.

I’ve joined an online book club. I’m struggling. I have always eaten potato chips (out of the bag) while I read. I would curl up on one end of the couch with a bag of chips and a book and be content. I’m having such difficulty reading without eating the chips. Nothing else will work as a substitute. I know. I’ve tried.

As we look around us and see people muddling through their lives as best as they can, we assume it is the life they really want and it is going swimmingly. Things are easy over there. They are just breezing through and enjoying the world.

They aren’t.

They, too, are struggling. Maybe they don’t struggle with the same things you do, but they have their own issues and concerns and stones around their necks. No one, not even the most glamorous Instagram influencer or You Tube sensation is living the perfect life. There is no such thing as a perfect life. All we can do is choose to make one small step towards improving the morass we live in.

Facebook makes us think that everyone else is having the time of their life, when in fact, they have the same shitshow of a life that we do. Some days things work out and some days they don’t because that’s the way it works. The perfect meal photo or the hiking picture was curated. They had Kraft mac and cheese with hot dogs yesterday and it’s the first time out of the house in six weeks.

Life isn’t easy. But it remains popular. Make the hard choice today for a better tomorrow. The habits we create make the hard choices easier, but they always remain a struggle. I’m better at the gym today than I was eight years ago, but I’m still no ball of fire out there. I’m doing the best I can, and it is hard. And I really wanted to buy that pineapple. But, I like my toes. And the roof of my mouth.

As an aside and just to prove that nothing is easy, I would add some Tags but WordPress has forced me to update to a new and improved version that makes it impossible for me to find the damn things. I hate when they add all manner of shit I don’t want or need and take away the one thing that really mattered to me. I’m sure it’s in here somewhere, but after twenty minutes of searching, I give up. See? It’s not easy at all.

 

Vacation from Facebook

I have been doing a little experiment. I have not been using social media since the middle of September. Here is what I found.

I have a lot more free time. I’m retired and don’t really need a lot more free time, but I have had it in abundance. I have read more books and learned more things. I have made more baby blankets. I have not spent that time cleaning my house because I’m not that bored and looking for something to do.

I have missed seeing my great nieces and great nephews and even my not great nieces and nephews online. I have missed seeing the pictures of the kids and stories of the babies. I have missed seeing things about my own kids and grandkids. We, or at least my family, seems to have grown accustomed to the use of social media for updates and contacts.

I have missed the horrific diatribes from the political posts. This has been such a blessing. I doubt that one person anywhere has changed their political beliefs because of something they saw on Facebook. The kind and gentle friends who post horrible, malicious things about their political enemy has been vicious and nauseating. I know I can hide the most egregious of the lot and I have done so in the past. It is so startling when they come back just as acrimonious as before even though after hundreds if not thousands of posts, things remain politically the same.

I’m not sure if it has been an overall win or loss. I know it has been different. Facebook seems to change their algorithm with wild abandon and with each change I see fewer and fewer posts and less and less from the people I actually know and love or at least virtually know and love and more and more of the money generating crap. I know they need more money because Zuckerberg can’t possibly exist on the peanuts he has now. But I really would like to see the things my friends are posting instead of the 5,325 ad for MUSC a hospital I have never visited and is farther away from me than several others.

I miss the connectedness even though it is as best tenuous. I miss seeing the stuff my old neighbors are doing. I’m friends on Facebook with people from half a century ago, people I would be totally out of contact with were it not for that platform. It isn’t all evil. It is a time sink that doesn’t really pay off in dividends.

Perhaps what I need to do is give myself a time limit and allow myself to catch up on what my real and virtual friends are doing. I know I need to find out what my family is doing. I’ve heard that I’ve missed some truly unimportant and yet very family type things. Such as this: Owen doesn’t like socks. He is perhaps two months old now and doesn’t like socks. This is genetic since his dad doesn’t like socks, either. These are the stories that bind families together and these are things that make the thousands of ads worth it.

I know I get lost in scrolling, so I will need to set a timer to give myself a limit to my swiping. But I miss seeing what is going on outside my limited view in this limiting pandemic. I don’t really need to isolate more than I have been.

But honestly, not seeing the political rants and hate speech has been so lovely. I know which of you are fans and which of you are not fans of the sitting President. It has been made abundantly clear to all what your feelings are. It is unpleasant to see hate speech in any form. I may be forced to snooze a bunch of people when I go back.

But I’m going back. I miss seeing pictures of the babies. I miss wishing my friends a happy day for their birthdays and anniversaries. I miss seeing my gym buddies succeed at this and that. I miss the people I have come to think of as friends, not the Facebook kind, but the heart kind.

I hope I don’t fall down the rabbit hole and waste hours scrolling. I have been made aware of something called The Fussy Librarian. I get a daily email with links to free ebooks from Kindle (there are some for other providers as well) and have been getting a load of new, interesting books to read. So I have a lot do other than scroll past the ads and the vitriol.

I hope, too, that this is the right choice. Of course, I can always take a break again if I find a need to do so.