As I was eating my cranberry English muffin (which is neither English nor a muffin) this morning, I pondered once again, the notion of modern vs. Paleo diet.

Paleolithic man lived a subsistence life and was always just a couple meals away from starvation. His diet was not varied but limited to what he could scrounge from his specific area. This meant little variation in diet from day to day, but some variation from season to season with winter being especially fun.

Paleolithic man did not take almonds and pulverize them into a powder for either flour or milk. Almonds were, if available, nuts. No pineapples from Hawaii were available in Europe or the Middle East. No bananas from the tropics were available and coffee doesn’t grow there either. The weather with its ice ages and whatnot was unpredictable and life was precarious.

In order to make it just a bit more likely to survive, some early Einstein, without the aid of coffee mind you, realized that you could take some of the food you didn’t actually have enough of right now and save some of the kernel/seeds and plant them in the spring. Then you could tend the plants and actually make the food you scrounged for be where you wanted it to be.

And for this life-giving and life-sustaining revolutionary way of existing, they chose foods they couldn’t really eat.


The first crops were grains. Wheat, rice, millet, sorghum, etc. These are the foods I’m not supposed to eat if I follow a Paleo diet because they are agriculturally produced. I’m not really sure how this logic really works. I mean, was Monsanto around then and creating crops out of pure nothing?

One would have to assume, if one was thinking this backwards, that the first crops were grown using seeds from the plants that early non-farming people saved for the actual purpose of making more food they so desperately needed. Why would they chose seeds from foods they couldn’t eat? That simply defies any type of logic. They must have chosen seeds which would grow plants they were already eating and knew to be beneficial.

As I thought like this, while munching on my English muffin (which is neither English nor a muffin) it once again made me feel a bit better about my diet. I’ve tried Paleo or near Paleo and it is really difficult work. And that is with supermarkets and super Walmarts and super everything. Can you imagine what it was like for early man who didn’t have aisles full of gluten free choices?

And then this early prototype group of people decided they wanted to start grocery stores and have a bit of surplus food. Did they grow Brussels sprouts? Did they grow asparagus? Did they grow radishes? No, they grew grains. The very thing I’m not supposed to eat.

Are there people who don’t digest wheat? Does celiac disease exist? Of course it does. But that doesn’t mean that I of normal digestive tract need to avoid wheat. I’m allergic to penicillin and I can’t take it. That doesn’t mean that you people who aren’t allergic to shouldn’t take it if it would cure your illness.

I believe in eating clean and I do believe that my English muffins (which are neither English nor a muffin) aren’t really a clean choice. They are full of chemicals and preservatives and bad things. I try to limit my sugar intake and stay away from diet foods at all costs because they are simply chemical shitstorms.

But why I should stay away from flour is just so confusing. Why would a people on the brink of starvation learn to feed themselves in the future and do so with foods they couldn’t eat? That’s just dumb and I can’t believe that people who survived an Ice Age would be that stupid.