I went yesterday. The 16 part of Sweet 16 was not rounds, so there is that to be thankful for. What it was instead, was a variation of all five the CrossFit Open Games WODs from 2016. That meant there was lots of everything.

I’m very hesitant to pick a partner. I usually wait for everyone to be paired up and the dimwit that didn’t pick anyone fast enough gets stuck with me. Yesterday, that turned out to be Eli. He is 24. He was a high school and college competitive swimmer. He’s awesome with an aerobic engine like you wouldn’t believe. He was stuck with me, the oldest person there with heart rate issues and her own cardiologist. What a match.

He told me to just do what I could and he would do the rest. Still, I was hoping to be able to do better. I got through Opens 16.1 through 16.4 sorta, kinda carrying my own weight. Not really, but not horribly lopsided. And then came 16.5 and I was lost. I was tired and spent and old and feeble and we had been working for a very long time. The task at hand was 32 heavy deadlifts, 32 wall balls, 32 calorie row, 16 HSPU with a hand release push-up as a sub.

I was able to get my half of the deadlifts. Eli did 16 wall balls, I did five and couldn’t move. My heart rate was 172 and climbing. He did the other 11 and then said he would do the entire row, which was really smart. He probably got two calories for every three pulls where I need three pulls for one calorie. I managed 12 push-ups and then, because I didn’t really know what I was talking about, I couldn’t go on. I thought we had to do that last round again (since most of the sections were to be done twice) and the thought of more heavy deadlifts just left me drained. Eli finished for us and we were done in 30.10. We didn’t have to do it twice and I usually push through at the end, knowing it is the end and what the hell, just get done.

And then I was awake most of the night castigating myself for not pulling my weight. Intellectually I know I’m not a 24 year old male in good physical condition. I got 40 years on this guy and I’m a wreck. He can and does outstrip every WOD I do. Keeping up was never really an option. And yet, I only did five wall balls.

And the spiral began. Instead of noting that I did five back to back WODs, as a partner, without knowing what was coming, bravely showed up, gave it my best shot, worked my ass off, and survived – I kept telling myself I only did five wall balls.

I have no idea how to talk kindly to myself. I only know how to point out all my flaws.

I don’t remember who the lady was who stood in the center of the contestants and said mean things, culminating in, “You are the weakest link” just before kicking them off the show. But that phrase is inside my head, over and over and over.

How do I tell myself that I’m doing amazingly awesome and my deadlifts today looked good? How do I tell myself when it is a day of chest to bar, HSPU, and pistols that I’ve improved when I can do none of those moves? I scaled/subbed each one and did crap anyway even though I knew I was going to the gym without a license to carry, unable to kick my ass up to the wall, and without even a pull-up let alone a chest to bar.

Today, just because I wanted to try, I did put three mats on the floor and did a head stand – kicking my fat ass up there without any help – and attempted to push myself up from there. I didn’t make it, but I did get inverted, so there is that.

I showed up yesterday and worked to capacity. I showed up again today and worked hard and even though I was exhausted, I put in my best effort.

I need to talk nicer to me. I don’t know how, because all I see is what’s not there and I’m unable to appreciate what is.

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At CrossFit Summerville there is a chance to have an extra bonus day on some weekends. Scott devises a partner WOD and we can come in and work together if we choose.

I hate partner WODs. I hate being the poopiest partner there and I feel sorry for anyone stuck with me. I wouldn’t choose me as a partner if I could help it. But I’m always on my team. I feel like we play “pass around the Patti” and some poor schmuck gets stuck with me as we rotate through.

I also hate not knowing what’s coming. I don’t know how other people workout. I look at the WOD. I have my panic attack. I look at the WOD again. I begin to figure out how to scale it, or as my head tells me, how to game the system. I know everything is scalable. I scale everything. It must be fantastic to be able to RX things and not have to worry about how to rewrite the WOD. I rewrite every single WOD.

So each time there is a weekend WOD, I’m faced with two very scary, frightening, paralyzing issues. I have to be a partner and I have no idea what is coming.

I didn’t do this for a long time. I go to the box four times a week and I’m old and I don’t really need an extra bonus workout and they scare the ever living shit out of me.

Then I began to show up. I don’t know if people groan when I walk in the door. I’m always sorry for whoever it is that gets stuck with me. The last time we had one of these, Scott made me a team captain and I had to choose the poor people who were stuck with me. I was overwhelmed by the number of reps expected of me as it stood and then selecting the people for my team had me nearly in tears.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I hate partner WODs. And I hate not knowing far enough in advance to come up with some strategy whereby I can actually manage a WOD.

I also workout first thing in the morning before my brain is entirely awake. An awake brain says things to me like, “What in the hell are you thinking?” and then might add “stay home”. It would be so comfortable to just stay home. I could skip this. I don’t have to show up. It isn’t mandatory. It isn’t part of my “routine” work. It’s a bonus.

I hate partner WODs. They scare me. I’m a detriment. I can’t do this. I am scared. I have no idea what’s coming. It’s called Sweet 16 today. There is going to be something in there with the number 16 and I sure as hell hope it isn’t rounds.

It takes tremendous courage to show up for this. It’s not “normal” for old women to do this stuff. I know because all my non-CrossFit friends tell me so.

I needed to eat before this event and I never eat before a workout because I go first thing in the morning. Then, as a reward, I come home and have bacon and eggs and mostly I just really care about the bacon. But today, because the warm-up starts at 10.30 and the WOD starts at 11, I had to eat something or I would run out of steam. So I had my reward before I actually did the task.

So, now I’m doubly committed. I don’t just get to eat bacon for no good reason. I have to earn it. I have to burn enough calories to make it possible to consume that much fat. I also need to stoke the engine to burn that kind of fuel.

I’m going to go again. Even though it scares me. Maybe precisely because it scares me. I’m very sorry for my partner, whomever that may be. But I’ve got my big girl pants on and I’m ready to try anything – scaled, of course.

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The holidays are officially over and it was back to work as usual. Boss A got some more redecorating done over the long weekend and Boss B was back from his international travels. Mandi and I were all cozy in our shared office. The extra office is full of junk and more junk and boxes of junk and free falling junk and then there is some junk in there. Sigh.

I bravely looked at the WOD last night and didn’t die. I did sigh. Partner WOD. Well, someone gets stuck with me as a partner.

Yesterday, I asked if there was any possibility of having an 8 AM class. I’ve been obsessing worrying about if I was going to be able to keep up getting up in the middle of the night after I retire. I’ve mentioned this fear a few times and didn’t get any response. So yesterday, I asked. Boldly. Well, first I asked if there were a lot of stay at home moms signed up at the box. I figured they would like a class after the kiddies got off to school.

It seems my timing was right. A box nearby closed and their members are looking for a place to work out. They had an 8 AM class and people liked it. There was enough interest that it will likely happen. Then I can sleep until a reasonable hour and still work out early enough in the morning that I will actually go. I’m so excited. I hope it works.

I got there and Charlie was back. It was good to see him. David was there, too. Neither one of them had a bad foot anymore, although David’s foot wasn’t completely wonderful. Sarah Ann also showed up so we had an even number of people for partner WOD day. I had already worked out a strategy.

We warmed up and got out of jackets and whatever extra clothes we put on to deal with ⁰F 36 temperature. We were ready to get to the work for today.

Today’s WOD as written:
Handstand Practice- Using a partner, spend twenty minutes working on handstand progressions (holds, push ups, single arm balance, walking, etc.)
then
In teams of 2 with one partner working at a time, complete the following:
2000m row (alternate at 500m)
100 kbs (53/35)
50 pull ups
200 squats

I can do a headstand on the wall. I can’t get brave enough to kick up for a hand stand. I have the power, I don’t have the belief or the faith in myself to not crumple. With Coach Kim’s help, I got up into a handstand once, but couldn’t manage again. I was too afraid. I could wall walk up, I could do a head stand. But not another hand stand.

I had the partner WOD figured out. I would do 80%. I would row 400 meters twice, do 40 kettlebell swings, 20 pull-ups, and 80 squats. I had it all figured out how to make that work.

Then I lost my mind. I remembered what I was doing on the row and the pull-ups, but I had Sarah Ann and I doing extra work on the other two moves. She did 55 kettlebell swings and I did 45 kettlebell swings because we did the whole 100 and then I did the same thing when counting the squats. She did 110 and I did 90 because instead of stopping at 180, we did the entire 200. This was stupid and all I can say to account for it was that I am not a math person and it was early in the morning.

My heart rate was okay during the row and the kettlebell swings. Sarah Ann did American and I did Russian and we shared the 25# kettlebell. We each used a 2” band for pull-ups and I had those counted correctly and Sarah Ann did 25 broken into sets of 5 and I did 20, broken into sets of 5. It was during this part that my heart rate started going too high. I would have to pause.

At one point, as I was resting a bit, Kim mentioned to Sarah Ann that she could do some more while I rested and the kid said, “That’s all right” and stood there panting next to me. It did make me want to laugh, but I didn’t have enough air for that.

After we were half way through the squats, I would be beeping at the end of my set, but ready to go again by the time Sarah Ann was done with her set. We were working in sets of 10 reps each after some manipulation at the beginning. But as I said, we did too many. Our time was 22.50.

David hasn’t been a CrossFitter for long and then his old injury flared up and he took time off. He is a lot like me when I began this. One of the problems with new people is that they try to keep up with regulars who have been doing this for a while. His pacing wasn’t effective. In fact, he nearly passed out while rowing. Charlie did the rest of the thing without a partner.

People think breathing in helps, but what is really necessary is breathing out. Carbon dioxide is what tells your brain you need to breathe. So when you breathe shallow and don’t forcefully exhale, you hold CO2 and your brain tells you to breathe more and it is only shallow and you have a buildup of CO2. This make you dizzy. When box breathing, the most important part is forcefully exhaling and then sucking in some air. The “out with the bad air” is really more important than the “in with the good air” part of breathing. Well, when under stressful conditions.

Without going into too much medical stuff, I explained the process as we were sitting around after class. I know I’m not a nurse anymore, but this crap will simply not get out of my head. At least I didn’t tell him what size tie goes with what size clamp or what normal settings on a Bovie are. Some things should stay a mystery. And luckily for everyone, I didn’t go into an explanation of an EKG wave complex. Instead of all this worthless crap floating around in my head, it would have been far more helpful if I had counted our reps correctly and then Sarah Ann and I could have each done five less kettlebell swings and 10 fewer squats. That would have been helpful.

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I go to the box on Mondays, but I didn’t go yesterday. This was the first time I just skipped class. I have missed when I was ill, injured, or out of the country but yesterday, I couldn’t get there because my car’s battery died. I could have taken the new car but for over 30 years now, I have parked on the left side of the garage. I have been driving a teeny, tiny car for the last few years. I couldn’t back the new, full sized (HUGE) car out of the wrong side of the garage without risking taking off the side mirror or possibly the paint. It wasn’t worth it. I could only go three times this week and so I altered my schedule.

That meant I had to go to the box today. I had wanted to sleep in today because it is my birthday. But instead, my fat ass was up in the middle of the night and when I looked – it was a partner WOD to boot. Great. Just great. But since I was awake, I went.

When I got there, Clint who is visiting from Alabama was there and so was Jackson. Kim was coaching today. That was it. Kim asked me if I wanted to work alone or with the guys. I said I would wait a few minutes and see if someone else showed up. It is my lucky day. Molly arrived.

We warmed up with a variety of different things and then did a bunch of other things and then did more things and finally we were declared warm.

Today’s WOD as written:
Pendlay Row / Floor Press
5 – 5 – 5 – 5 – 5
then
PARTNER WOD
(for total reps)
1 minute on / 1 minute off
over the bar wall balls (20/14) 10
alternating shuttle runs
b2b med ball pass (40/25) [these are slam ball weights]
crab walk wheel barrows bear crawl
alternating parallette passes
alternating double unders single unders

I did not see that floor press part to this when I looked this morning. I’m going to have to put on my glasses when I try to read this stuff because I keep missing parts. I recognized the partner WOD. This is the one Sarah Ann and I did together not too long ago.

My press movements are all much weaker than my pulling movements so this meant my weights I had planned to do weren’t going to work. My Pendlay row weight is about 25# higher than my floor press weight. And I’ve already trapped myself by dropping bar on me for the floor press.

I stuck with just 22-27-32-37-42 for the weights because that’s about where I failed with a one rep on the floor press. I got all five at that weight and I’m not sure I could have managed five at any higher weight.

Clint had never been to an actually CrossFit class. He has only gone to open gym. When we were warming up for the row/presses, we also did some weighted good mornings. He hadn’t ever done these. He said “this” was tight pointing to his quads and didn’t even know what “this” was. He goes to open gym and does WODs as written, but doesn’t have enough knowledge about mobilizing or even proper form. He had never done a Pendlay row, either.

Molly is quite young and strong. I am not. But we had to figure out a way to work together which meant she had to either do my lower stuff or go it alone. This is the problem with the whole “No child left behind” theory. She had to go slow enough for me to not be left behind.

We had to use a 10# med ball for me to get through the wall balls. I was at 166 for a heart rate at the end but we did get 25 of the damn things in. I needed the minute of rest.

I don’t run very fast and there is truly nothing I can do about it. Molly went first and so she was able to get a last one in before time ran out. Our score for this round was 7.

I don’t remember this being that difficult last time except that we forgot to count. We got a lot more reps in and I believe we were using a med ball, but today we were really using the 25# slam ball. It was not only heavier, it was smaller so passing it around was more difficult. We managed 16 full passes.

The bear crawl was subbed out for the wheel barrow things because that is something I wasn’t comfortable with. Apparently Clint wasn’t either because the guys did bear crawls, too. Molly was able to finish an extra trip down the mat as time was called and we had a score of 5.

Molly and Jackson used parallettes. Clint and I used 20” boxes. Clint had never done these things. He has been doing this for two years, just like me. He was probably in his 20s, unlike me. I was having an easier time with this since I’ve done them enough to know how to swing my fat ass back and forth. It was amazing. Molly and I got 27 done. I was pooped and needed the rest, which didn’t seem so critical for the kids. I think I may have been older than the other three people there combined.

But I did catch my breath and Molly went first on the jumps. I told her I would take over at thirty seconds. She missed a couple jumps which lowered her count. I began and this is one thing I can do. I jumped. And during the last 5 seconds, I jumped faster. Molly had 50 and I got 72. Our total score for this was 202.

If I could look at the WOD the night before and still sleep, I could see what I did the last time I did whatever the moves are. I would have found that I managed the floor press at 47#, but only to four reps. I would have seen that Sarah Ann and I used a 14# med ball on the back to back passes and had a score of 209.

I write this so I can keep track of what I’ve done and then I’m too stupid to look it up and see what I should do now to improve. But if I look ahead, I can’t sleep worrying about how awful I’m going to be in the morning. I really need to find a way to trust myself to get the work done. I always have; no one has ever told me I can’t come back. And I’m doing a lot more now than when I began.

Life frightens me. You would think that by this time, I would have figured out how to manage the fright. Maybe that should be my goal for the coming year. Be brave. I’m so good at being the Cowardly Lion that it will be a stretch.

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We are remodeling at work. My office and Mandi’s office are going into what is now the conference room. My old office will be the new conference room. Mandi’s old office will be a second space available for meetings. The lobby is staying the same. Yesterday, we boxed stuff, moved stuff, unhooked everything from my desktop computer, and I got the router moved to its new location and made sure they will still have internet until I get back to set up my own computer again. What we seemed to have the most of – was dust. There was dust in all sorts of places, hidden behind all manner of things.

The movers will come today and magically transform the office. Mandi will oversee that part. Then we can unpack a bit and on Monday, the carpets are being cleaned and I get to oversee that part. All in all, it will be really nice when it is done. But like most odious things, it is not all that fun in the doing.

When I got up this morning it was a balmy ⁰F 40 and so I was dressed appropriately for a building without heat. I bought some new socks this past weekend and I wore a pair of wild tie dye socks today. Very fetching.

Kim coached 5 AM which was just Cory, Matt, and Paul. Then Kim went home and Cory coached the 6 AM class which was just Jackson and me.

The 5 AM class was still working when we got there and so we got to witness the scoring. Take the time, turn it into seconds, add the ages of the participants together and divide the time by the ages and a get a final score. So at least we knew what to do when we were finished.

We warmed up and Cory had us doing these twists with a 10# plate and I was getting so dizzy I couldn’t keep my eyes open. But I got through them. Then other stuff and then start again with the twists. I asked if there was some sub because I didn’t want to get sick and she said to just skip that part and do the rest. I managed to keep my protein drink down.

Today’s WOD as written:
Push Press 3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3
then
Partner WOD
40 slam balls
30 pistols
20 tire flips
10 rope climbs
20 shuttle runs
30 ring dips
40 box jumps

We did the push presses together and Cory timed the rests and then we did the next round. We were to increase in weight with each round. I thought about where to start and where I hoped to finish. I looked and my one rep max is 63# but I have not been writing when that number happened. For all I know, it could have been a long time ago. I have to push myself because that’s my job.

I decided to start with a 33# bar and work up with 5# increments. I did 33, 38, 43, 48, 53 an that is where it got really hard. I did another 53, then 55, and finished with 58 which I did manage to get up three times. That one rep max must have been recent.

We strategized about the partner WOD. I always feel bad with these because I’m holding back someone younger. I haven’t seen the twins all month, so I assume they quit. That makes Jackson the youngest member. I’m the oldest. Great. Nothing like a teenaged competitive athlete (he is a swimmer) and an old fart. We all know my heart rate makes me stop and rest. Jackson is always done way ahead of me. He is young, strong, and has the lungs of a swimmer and the heart rate to go with it. And then there is me.

It was supposed to be each person doing one rep and trading off. Well, that meant I had to keep up with a teenager and here I am, old enough to be his grandmother. So we decided that Jackson would do two reps for each of mine and when he did half the number of reps, we were finished with the round.

We both used the same slam ball which was 25#. Jackson did 20 and I did ten. This was really smart. We both did pistols hanging on to the rack and I did 8 and Jackson did 15. We each had our own tire because he wanted a bigger one than what I could flip, but we did these one and one so we got them all done. I did a sub for the rope climbs, Jackson did a real rope climb. I did a sub, Jackson did two because my heart rate was too high, then we did that again, so he did 5 and I did 3. This was also really smart. This first half was done to my capacity.

We all know I can’t run and keep breathing. I did one run and Jackson did two so I did five shuttles and he did ten. We did box dips and this is where I think I should have done more. We could have done these one and one, but I didn’t push for it. I did one, he did two so I did 8 and he did 15. Then we used the boxes for the last set. He really jumped and I did step-ups. Again, I should have done one for one, but didn’t. He did 20 and I did 10 and we were done at 12.06. That was 726 seconds and our combined ages equal 77. So our score was 9.42.

I worked hard, didn’t hold Jackson back, and managed to not hurt myself while being partnered with a kid. It all worked out fine.

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My great niece was THRILLED with snow yesterday. She has been wanting to build a snowman since July and the opportunity was not presented. But yesterday morning, she woke up to enough snow that her Nana had a snow day and didn’t have to teach school. So Lily got to build a snowman. The picture of the excited toddler and her snowman made my whole day.

I got a little southern on my northern friends and mentioned that I was debating whether or not to wear a jacket to work since it was 67⁰ out there. They were not amused. Later in the day, we were under a tornado watch, so I let them know what my boasting got me. The temps are dropping over the next couple days even this far south. I looked last night and there were freeze warnings for overnight.

The warnings were scary but it was 39⁰ when I left the house this morning. The temperature right now is 34⁰. It’s very cold for being in the South. It was so cold this morning, Charlie actually had on a sweatshirt and long pants when he arrived. Todd, Jackson, Sarah Ann, and I made up the rest of the 6 AM class. There were only four at the 5 AM class and they were just beginning the conditioning at about 5.55 which meant they were running late. But it did mean I could find out what the hell over the bar wall balls were. More to come.

Warm-up
500m row
inchworm with a push-up for the length of the mat
then
10-8-6-4-2

ring rows
push-ups
ring dips
dislocates and passthroughs

We were declared warm after this and began with the day’s work.

Today’s WOD as written:
Pendlay Row / Floor Press
5 – 5 – 5 – 5 – 5
then
PARTNER WOD
(for total reps)

1 minute on / 1 minute off
over the bar wall balls (20/14)
alternating shuttle runs
b2b med ball pass (40/25)
crab walk wheel barrows
alternating parallette passes
alternating double unders

I have done enough Pendlay rows that I actually remembered what they were when I looked at this. I remembered getting trapped under the bar on the floor press, but I couldn’t remember what weight. If I had enough stamina to look at this the night before, I could have looked that information up, but since it makes me not sleep, I only look in the morning and then there is no time to look up the information.

We did them floor press, then Pendlay row, then floor press, etc. I began with 32# on the bar and could manage okay for both moves. Then I went to 37# and it was okay. Then I got to 42# and wasn’t sure if this is where I failed at the floor push press but I managed them. Then I got to 47# and could only do 4 but I set the bar on the ground lower than my boobs so I could roll it down and get out from under it. On the last round, I tried the same weight again to see if I could get all five, and I did! Then I added more and 52# for the Pendlay rows and did fine with that weight.

Since there were five of us, there were a few ways to manage this partner WOD. We could do boys and girls or we could do high school kids and old farts or we could have two sets of two and someone working alone. We ended up with boys and girls. There were modifications made for the injured guy and they figured out how to manage this for them.

I was working with a high school kid. Poor child having to put up with the old fart. But this type of WOD isn’t quite as bad as many others since I get to rest after a burst of killing myself.

The over the bar wall balls entailed each partner throwing the ball over the bars we use for pull-ups. The 5 AM class was going over the high bars. As a master level athlete, I’m supposed to use a 10# ball to an 8’ mark. A 14 pound ball to a higher mark was pretty much out of my league. Sarah Ann is a new member and some of the things we did today were her first experience with the move. So she was okay with using a 10# ball over the shorter cross section of the bars.

I wasn’t sure how this was going to work because wall balls just kill my heart rate stuff. But I managed to get the whole minute in and only beeped at the very end. I am somewhat ashamed to admit that on throw nine over the bar, it hit the bar and came back to me and without thinking, “Fuck” came out of my mouth. And then I realized I was playing with a kid. Just shit. I apologized, she laughed. Dear Lord. I need to be more careful.

Kim said if I was too tired on the shuttle runs, Sarah Ann could have two trips while I rested, but the rest while she ran was enough and I could hold up my end on this part, too. No swearing involved.

We used a 14# med ball for the passes which were done seated, which was far more difficult than when we did these standing. I thought Sarah Ann was counting, since she started out counting, but then she stopped somewhere along the way. I think we were passing the ball once per second and may have stumbled some on this, but certainly not too much. A full circle was a rep and so we probably did closer to 27 but only counted the minute for 17 since we were stupid.

The wheel barrows were beyond me and so we bear crawled the mat. I hate this as a warm-up and it takes a long time. I was really surprised how fast I can do this if given the proper incentive.

I used a couple 20” boxes and Sarah Ann used the parallettes for the pass throughs. I managed to keep up with my end of the deal on this one, too.

Neither of us could do double unders and so were just doing single unders. Sarah Ann went first and jumped for 30 seconds and then I finished. The idea was to go to failure or until tired and let your partner work. This worked for us.

I was beeping by the end of many of the moves, but could recover in the minute off. I never had to stop while we were supposed to be working. Our score was 209.

After everyone left, I did some banded pull-ups and then did a couple sets of negatives. And then it was time to come home and get breakfast. I felt good about today’s work. I had to scale stuff, but I never had to stop and just pant and be old.

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We have been car shopping and I can’t say I have enjoyed the experience. I assume they never have ads showing someone buying a car because that would be an epic length movie rather than a 30 second ad spot. It took forever and I started to get cranky and warn the salesman (they were all men who talked to us) that we weren’t happy being coerced into talking to another person just because it is their policy. All we wanted to do was drive a car and see if we liked it. If one more person showed me how wonderful it is not to be able to lock yourself out of your car, I may have committed murder with my bare hands – and I work out so I might have been able to actually do it.

Dick painted the bathroom yesterday and it was not a good experience. He was covering a butterscotch colored wall with a yellow. It was guaranteed to cover in one coat. It took three. There was lots of unhappiness there but it does look really nice now.

I successfully didn’t look at the WOD last night and when the alarm went off this morning, I peeked at it and was completely happy about not looking last night. I got myself ready to depart for the box and had layers on to accommodate the 51⁰ temps.

We began our warm-up with a run and I have no idea why, but that hurt my behind. I assume it was the higher box step-ups from last Friday. Or maybe it was the lovely two days to test drive four cars thing. But it hurt my ass. I eventually got warmed up enough that it was better. We did Ryan complex down the mat which has squats in it. We also held an active squat for a minute and then we did some PVC pipe OH squats because why not. We also had some wall balls in there which have a squat included.

Today’s WOD as written:
Squats 5 x 30 sec efforts
HSPU 5 x 30 sec efforts
then
Partner WOD
50 (alt) box jumps
25 unison burpees
50 kbs (25 each)(53/35)
50 b2b med ball pass(20/14)
4 mat length leap frog
50 (alt) power cleans (95/65)

We did squats for 30 seconds, rested a minute and repeat. I did a total of 86 squats there. For the HSPU which I cannot execute, I used a 20” box and did them from there. I was nauseous on each round. Again it was 30 seconds on and a minute rest. I got 35 of these.

And then partner WOD – my favorite. I love having to have someone else cope with my aged self and heart rate issues. It just doesn’t seem fair to whoever gets stuck with me, unless it is whomever gets stuck with me (which I believe is the actual correct grammar but seems pretentious). I simply prefer to only have me having to cope with me.

Sarah Ann was there today and I correctly guessed the right twin. Maribel showed up today, too. They were a team and Todd got stuck with me. As we were looking at these at the board, the burpees had to be done together with chests on the floor at the same time and jumping up and clapping hands at the same time. I was planning on just doing a plank in and out because I’m old and 25 burpees in the middle of all this was going to be unmanageable. Todd’s shoulder is still a mess and he can’t do burpees either and had some convoluted way he was going to try to manage this. Coach Jason told us to do synchronized squats instead.

I asked Sarah Ann if she needed the 25# KB and she didn’t, which is how we ended up not being partners. She was using the 20# one and so we didn’t have to share. Todd was doing sumo deadlift high pulls instead of swings and I did Russian swings.

So we began with the box jumps, but both of us did step-ups. I used a 20” box and Todd used a 24” one and these were alternated me then him. Then we did our squats and I had to stop and get my heart rate down half way through. It is so discouraging. I can’t even manage this little bit of stuff without over taxing my heart. Then the kettlebell swings and we did those five a time.

When I looked at b2b med ball pass, I had no idea what in the hell that was. It was standing back to back and passing the ball in a circle, first clockwise for 25 counts and then counterclockwise for 25 counts. We used a 14# med ball for this and all it did was make me dizzy.

Then the leap frog shit. I never even played this as a kid. I suck at crap like this. It was just too much for my poor heart. I couldn’t get very far on a jump so we had to do more of them and then I had a heart rate way too high. I could get a mat length and then have to rest. But we finally finished that nonsense and were on to the cleans. These were also alternated with Todd and then me.

I had to rest before we could start and then after a third of the way through I had a heart rate of 170 and couldn’t keep going and had to stop. Then after another 9 cleans, I was wiped out again. I got my heart rate from 172 down to 159 but that meant that I would start beeping again as soon as I did one clean. But I had been sitting still and box breathing for too long already. So I started up again and we finally finished in 17.03 and I had a heart rate of 173. I collapsed into a puddle on the floor and Maribel was advising me to “walk it out” and not to just make a sweat angel. My heart rate climbs when I stop and then it will start to drop. So she is telling me to move more with a heart rate over 175. I know everyone means well, but I really don’t want to have a heart attack while I’m trying to be healthy.

I made it home and had breakfast and tried to add up how many squats I did today. I came up with “too many” and I think that is accurate.

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