What do I want for my heath and fitness goals? Well, first of all, I want to have all my toes when I die. In order to do that, I need to keep my diet under control, especially my carb intake. Even if my next A1C is normal, I’ve been warned that my body is not able to process as many carbs as I would love to consume, so I’m stuck with a choice between full blown diabetes and unlimited chocolate.

I’ve been doing CrossFit for over six years now. I really thought I would be better at this by now. I’m not. Actually, I’m much better than when I started, I’m just not as better as I want to be. I would like to be Kylie or Liz or Wendy but I’m old enough to be their mother and so that is probably not ever going to happen. I guess I should pick something else. But what? I have no idea what is a reasonable fitness goal for me.

My stated goals for the year are to get rid of the stutter jump in my double unders and to get the courage to kick up to the wall. For the first, I have to practice and so that’s entirely up to me. For the second, I can hold my weight upside down at least for a short time. Kicking up to the wall is terrifying for me and I can’t even tell you why. But I’m brave enough. I think.

My unstated goal, or not written on the goal board, is to get to 50% of the double unders the aforementioned whiz kids accumulate. If I can get to half the number as that written on the board, I will be happy with myself. It will always take me forever, especially since I have to have that extra single under in there between each double under. If I can get rid of that, I should be able to get a few more in a row before my heart rate is too high.

But … all those Olympic lifts are dreams. There is always more weight regardless of what I do and there is always way more weight on all the other bars in the gym. And yet … there was a time when I could only dream of what I can do today. I could go back and look to see when the first time I got 35# overhead was, but I’m not that curious. I know it took me a long time to get there. I also don’t really know how long it took me to break parallel on my squat, but it was quite a bit of time.

Today’s WOD was a repeat of 15.5 or 27-21-15-9 of calorie row and thrusters. My Open weight for thrusters is 35# so that is what I did. I hate thrusters. My heart rate spikes and I have to rest. Even with that light weight. I actually had a time for 15.5 from 2015. It was 24.23. Today, I wanted to cut the reps. I actually wanted to cut the class. I really hate thrusters. But there I was and I knew I could do this piece of crap because I’d done it before. So I did 72 calorie row and 72 thrusters. I finished in 22.42.

So, after four years, I cut about 90 seconds off my time. That’s rather pitiful. While trying to make myself feel a bit better about it, I remembered that we had kilo bars or I was doing 33# before instead of the 35# today and so I actually put an extra 144# over my head. That didn’t really help me. I used to think I would just improve and work hard and improve some more. But I just work hard and don’t die which is really helpful. But it’s not an improvement.

So what should I expect? I’m now 66 instead of 62. Lots of people my age are already dead, which as I’ve pointed out, I’m not. So I should be grateful if not amazed that I’m still moving at all. And I know that as we age, we get slower and weaker but I’m not sure when this descent into feebleness actually starts and if I’m just going to fizzle out at some point. I don’t know if I should hope to maintain my lift weights or hope that they decrease by just small margins.

I have no idea what I’m doing. This isn’t new. I can learn the vocabulary. I can learn the movement. What I can’t learn is what is the correct thing for me to actually aspire to. This is true in and out of the gym.

I’ve been steadily losing weight since October. I can’t keep this up. I have gone back to counting everything not for the carbs, but for the calories. I’m not eating enough even though I’m never hungry. I’m not roller coastering my blood sugar and starving as a result. So I don’t eat enough and this affecting my gym performance.

I really don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. And I really don’t know how to find out exactly what that should be. I’m this old and still just winging it. I really thought that eventually, I would know something. Not yet.



It’s been months now and I’m still alive and still dealing with a diagnosis I was sure would never come my way. I’m fit and normal weight. And I’m still pre-diabetic. I think. It’s been over four months since my A1C was checked. I do have an appointment scheduled in a few weeks. I will see if what I’ve been doing is working.

Although I wasn’t overweight when I started this nonsense, I’m even less so now, having lost twelve pounds in the interim. Not that I’ve been trying, it’s just that without all the carbs in my life, I’ve shed some weight. I’ve been a little leery of this but my weights in the gym seem to be staying stable. In fact, if I had to guess, I would say my performance with Olympic lifts continues to improve. I know that my CrossFit Open old fart scaled weight of 35# thrusters seems to feel less crushing. I can get more reps in before I have to rest.

I’ve tried a lot of new foods. Some of them have been successful, some have not. I’ve tried desserts made with fake sugars and they all have a horrible aftertaste. I would rather not eat them at all than spend ridiculous amounts of money and effort to have something that tastes nasty.

I tried some zero carb “noodles” I found online. I couldn’t eat more than the original taste sample because they were so horrid. Even though I spent a lot of money on them, I had to throw them away. I tried Birds’ Eye vegetable pasta and it was unimpressive. It is not anything I would buy again, but I could eat it for one meal. It was as many carbs as a half serving of regular pasta with none of the taste.

I’ve always been fond of fruit and even that is a problem. So I have been measuring out portions. In fact, I’ve been measuring out portions of everything. Sometimes I believe the carbs are worth it and when they aren’t, I don’t eat the stuff.

For the first three month, was trying to keep my carbs around 100 – 125. I usually managed to stay in the 90s and never did get as high as 125. Then I finally went to a class for my condition and the dietician there said 45 – 50 carbs per meal and 15 carbs for each of two to three snacks. That is so much higher than I was doing that I stopped counting every damn carb. Well, I never did add the 4 carbs per day of milk I put in my coffee, but still.

I try to keep each meal in the 30-40 carb range so if I’m careless with my reckoning, it won’t matter because I have some leeway. I know my breakfasts are either 1 carb (days I don’t work out) or 17 carbs (on the days I do). My snacks are usually something healthy and may be slightly over the 15  count, but not ever more than 20 and I only have one or two per day, not three. I stopped trying to record every morsel of food.

My mother watched her fat intake to the point of making everyone around her a little crazy. She wouldn’t eat this and that and seriously limited her fat intake. She died of a heart attack anyway.

I’m looking forward to finding out if what I’ve been doing is enough or even too much. I’m pretty sure that no matter what my A1C number is, I can’t go back to just willy nilly eating anything and everything. It would just make it rise again for the next time.

I have given myself permission to eat one decadent piece of chocolate per day and figure it into my carb count. I have tried new and different recipes, some of them quite successful. I have cut back on breads, potatoes, and pasta without noticing too much of a problem. Pasta is the hardest of all these.

My biggest worry now is that I continue to lose weight although not as rapidly as when I started. Still, I worked really hard to build up this amount of muscle and my BMI is now 21.8. With my muscle mass, that’s an inflated number. Weightlifters really aren’t who those tables are made for and our numbers are skewed because we have higher than normal mass due to more muscle tissue.

I’ve tried to find out if there is any difference for diabetics regarding where the carbs are coming from. It seems we really don’t know that much about nutrition. Which is a shame, considering the state of our national nutritional mess. What I did see over and over again is that the more processed something is, the less healthy it is for you. Which makes all the “fake” food substitute things a little suspect.

Hopefully, I will find out that what I’ve been doing is working well. I can manage this without much problem. I’ve even figured out how to dine out. So, I guess I’m just going to get to keep all my toes. At least, I hope so.


I know it is up to me to live a healthier life. I need to do certain things to make the most of the time I have here on Earth. I need to first and foremost, eat a healthy diet. This is probably the hardest part for me and for everyone else on the planet. Our food sources are crap. The most chemical shitstorm foods are the ones that are routinely on sale. Sugar is being added to everything, even food that doesn’t need it. Our grocery stores are filled with “food products” instead of food and we are fighting a losing battle against people who trade our collective health for a profit.

I do the best I can and stay mostly out of the cereal and cookie aisles. I mostly stay away from boxes or bags of chemicals disguised as “convenience food” because while they are, in fact, convenient, they aren’t really food.

There is a maxim in the fitness world about drinking water. This is not based on any science at all. Neither the WHO nor the CDC have recommendations for how much anyone should drink because if you eat real food (fruits, vegetables, meats) they all contain varying amounts of water. So if you eat a bunch of watermelon, you really don’t need to drink as much water. Water is the second most necessary item (after air) keeping you alive. To believe that there isn’t a natural mechanism to help you maintain homeostasis on this front is ludicrous. If you are thirsty, drink. If you aren’t, it’s okay.

The next thing I need to do is get adequate sleep. This used to be no problem. And then menopause began and I haven’t slept right in over a decade. I can fall asleep easily but I can’t stay asleep. I’m unsure how to fix this. If you over hydrated and have a specific gravity for your urine of 0.0000001 you will be up all night peeing. This is not a good idea since sleeping undisturbed is important to overall health.

Another key aspect is exercise. I’ve got this covered adequately. I do CrossFit four to five times a week and back in February I began doing yoga. At first, it was once a week, then it was twice a week, and now it is six or seven times a week. And herein lies the problem.

When is the best time to do yoga? I have to CrossFit first thing in the morning because if I don’t I make up excuses and find myself not showing up. So, I’m there early before my brain kicks in. I also don’t want to take two showers in a day, and if I waited until early evening, then the whole when to shower thing becomes a problem. All in all, first thing in the morning really works for me.

But when to yoga? I have been doing yin yoga, which is pretty good just before bedtime as it leaves you relaxed and ready to fall asleep. But, and this is a big but, I have to remember to get started earlier than I have been because I don’t really have enough time to get in an hour yoga and get to bed and then wake up early enough to get to CrossFit. Another issue is that even a vinyasa class leaves me a bit too jazzed to fall asleep immediately.

Doing a flow class, at least for now, is not anything I’m interested in. I do CrossFit for exercise and I do yoga for my stretching/releasing tension and my soul. Flow is about exercise on a yoga mat. I prefer to exercise with a barbell.

I could do yoga in the afternoon and get in a vinyasa yoga time and it could be longer, but then I’m back to the whole shower thing again.

I can make as many excuses about exercising as I can about eating non-nutritional food. But my real question is, when is the best time to yoga? I know there are whole sun salutation things, greeting the day with a yoga practice. But I’m in the gym without a mat and squatting with a barbell at that time. I don’t think I ever salute the sun, but I’m already busy.

There are so many choices in life. I hope I’m making at least some that are beneficial.


Strong is the new skinny.

This is a sports meme and someone took offense to it lately and I’m trying to figure out how I feel about it. I apparently read it differently than the person who was complaining because they were somehow offended and I am not.

I read it with the logic going from what was perceived as desirable then was “skinny” regardless of health consequences. What is desirable now is “strong” and the packaging isn’t important. I don’t remember where the outrage came from in the post I read, but it was there and I find nothing outrageous in the line.

I’ve been working toward “strong” for a while now. I’ve leaned out and actually recaptured some muscle definition. I’m not looking like I did when I was in my thirties and playing racquetball for ten hours a week. I’m not working out ten hours a week. And I’m thirty years older now. But where I once had flab, I’m getting actual muscles.

I want to be able to lift heavier. I want to be able to run farther, too, but there are times when I think my heart rate is just going to be too problematic to allow that to happen. I’m getting stronger in such tiny increments that it is often impossible to see from a day to day perspective. I have to think back to when this started and remember what it was like then compare that state to what I’m doing now.

When I began, I was overweight or at least weighing more than I wanted to weigh and it was one of the prime motivators. What I was doing wasn’t working and I wanted my clothes to fit better. Well, they certainly don’t fit better now. They are all way too big. I worked hard to accomplish the things listed in each WOD and as I grew, I shrank. I also learned I wasn’t eating as clean as I imagined and that much of my diet wasn’t really all that good for me. It wasn’t helping me build muscle and I needed more muscle to lift heavier. The size became unimportant eventually and I’m now worrying about getting too small as I continue to improve.

Yesterday I did 50 pull-ups (half with even less band assist than I have been used to using) and did so in just a few minutes. When I began this nonsense, I could manage a few ring rows at a time and it would have taken me far longer (if it was even possible) to do those than it took me to do 50 actual (band assisted) pull-ups yesterday. And I would have been totally spent and done for the day.

After the 50 pull-ups was 100 wallballs. And I did them. All. Using the RX weight for an old fart. When I started, I was using the kid 4# ball and couldn’t have managed to eke out 100 even with that. My legs would have given up the ghost and I would have simply been in a puddle on the floor disgusted with myself. And that would have been without anything else on the menu.

I want to be strong. I want to be stronger. The only way to get from where I am now to the land of stronger is to keep moving, keep trying, keep being disappointed and yet coming back for more, keep growing. I think it is an admirable goal.

If we held out “strong” as a goal for teenagers rather than “skinny” would it help with body image? Some of the strongest women at my box are not svelte, lean, muscle machines. They have rounder bodies which accomplish many wonderful things that I can only dream of.

We probably should hold out no goal for anybody else. Goals should be internally driven and match the person’s own mindset. But society is good at imposing ideals. Photoshopping is ubiquitous and so to help with this nonsense, “everyone is beautiful” is a meme even though it is patently untrue and you would have to be a moron to buy into it. Besides, beautiful is a superlative and if everyone were beautiful, it would be the average and you have just negated the definition of the word.

It is my belief that goals work better if they are internal things rather than external things. The appearance of the package isn’t nearly as important as what one finds inside. The goal of strong or smart or kind or moral or helpful … any of these seems preferable to skinny or beautiful which is shallow and unimportant.

And so, strong is one of the things I’m striving toward. I want to be better at it than I am now. I may have waited too long and may never be able to recover from the inertia. However, if there are younger people out there who need to choose a goal, let me propose you choose strong. It gives much more satisfaction than skinny. AND it is far more useful. You can open your own jars when you are strong.


Yesterday we went to Hilton Head and saw the completed Conviction Training Facility and got to play a little there. They began their own health and wellness challenge yesterday and thirty people have made a commitment toward healthier living for the next six weeks.

After everyone was finished with their pre-challenge measurements, Craig and I worked on my pull-ups. I didn’t mean for that to happen, but when I asked him what I could do to get my pull-ups conquered before the end of the year, he wanted to know where I was currently and we did several different things. He gave me homework. I’m pitiful, is pretty much what we decided, but I’m also determined and willing to work toward a goal.

I’m working on various portions of banded pull-ups that will translated into real pull-ups and I’m working on negative pull-ups to get the muscle mass built. Both are challenging but I’m smarter today than I was yesterday and I know where and how to work. I will get this.

I looked at the WOD last night which wasn’t easy since the cable blipped again, but I finally could see it and I just giggled.

Got up in the middle of the cold night and headed to the box. Cindy and Todd were both back but Ricky was MIA. Carma was back, too. Two other women were there so Todd was completely outnumbered.

Warm-up was a 800 meter run and I did 400 meters and my knee mostly held out. I wanted to quit halfway through and pushed myself for the next 100 meters and then figured there was only 100 more and I could run it in – it wasn’t my legs giving out; it was my head. So I ran the whole way. I am not a runner. We did other stuff and I still can’t lunge with my right knee all the way to the mat and holding a squat is painful. We did stretches and then went to the WOD.

Today’s WOD as written:
5,4,3,2,1 Front squats
Quarter gone bad
15 sec of work 45 sec of rest with
135/95# thrusters
50/35# pull ups

I haven’t done front squats in a while and my weight on squats has been low. My knee seems to be nearly healed and as soon as it squawks, I’ve been quitting. But I opted to at least start, which was more than I did a couple weeks ago. I began with 43# and did five reps, went to 53# for the 4 reps, 63# for the 3 reps, 68# for the 2 reps and that was hurting a smidgeon so I stayed with that for one more rep. No sense reinjuring myself.

Last night I was trying to figure out how a timed on/off work load would be Rounds For Time, but I gave up trying to make any sense of it and figured it was written wrong and they were rounds for total reps, which is what happened.

I used just the 33# for the thrusters, the 2″ band for the pull-ups. But I did them Craig style. I did not cross my feet and that took some thinking. I pushed off from the top of the bar. No kipping allowed and no chin pointing up. It was arms that got me up there and good luck with all that nonsense. Then burpees. I firmly believe the two weeks of constant burpees is what did my knee it. In large numbers I have to walk them in and out and that torques my knee. We had something like 300 burpees in the WODs over a two week period and my right leg died. I was frightened by these today. But I did real burpees instead of walking them at all and it was only 15 seconds at a time. I gave myself permission to quit any of this as soon as my knee hurt.

Thrusters – 33# Pull-ups – 2″ band Burpees

Total per round





















I was pretty dang consistent with this. I was beeping like crazy at the end of each 15 second push and would barely get back to 150-155 range before it was time to start up again.

I got done without dying and got my heart rate back down to about 130 before I started on my homework. I did 3 sets of 2 negative pull-ups and I can hold for just a fraction of a second at the top and drop like not-quite-a-stone-but-pretty-fast which isn’t anywhere at all like the 3 seconds I’m shooting for. I’m to do this twice a week until I can get a controlled slow drop and then go to 3 sets of 3.

After everyone was gone, Ryan and I talked about my diet. I’m not getting enough protein. I really know that. I’m good with salads and with fruits and veggies. But my protein intake isn’t high enough to give my body the building blocks it needs to increase muscle mass and if I want to crank my fat ass up to a pull-up, I’m going to need some muscles. I’m going to have to work on my diet some more. Damn. I also have been not eating quite as clean and I have gained 2.5 pounds since the end of the WLC, which isn’t too bad because I’m not yet back to my top permissible weight. But it is easier to lose 2.5 pounds than it is to lose 5 pounds. However, if I’m trying to gain muscle mass, that is going to screw up my weight numbers. I have no idea how to manage this. I could do some research and figure it out. Great, more work.

This living healthy is really hard. There are so many parts to it. But I want to rage against the dark and not go quietly into that good night. So, I have work to do. And, my knee still doesn’t hurt.


What I learned in 2013

1. I learned if I keep at something, even when I’m really bad at it, I improve. There were so many times I wanted to quit the whole CrossFit experience. I couldn’t do anything. I was impossible. I was old and weak and just couldn’t do this. It was a young person’s game. I wasn’t a young person. I should quit. I can’t quit. Old people CAN do CrossFit. It is all scalable. There is a way. Practice makes perfect. Just keep on keeping on.

The highs and lows of pushing myself was a tremendous learning experience. Usually, I either excel at something or quit. I hate failing. I hate being the worst at anything. It has taken everything I have to keep going back. Coach Mike saved me one day when I was in tears. He told me, “You are always the best in your age group. Do you realize how impressive it is that you come back here day after day while most people, not even most people your age, but most people are still home in bed?” He gave me permission to frame my failings as successes. Pretty good for a 23-year-old kid.

2. I learned that traveling is really, really fun but that it also throws curveballs your way. I loved the river cruise we took. I hated hearing time and again, “You should have been here last year” since the year before it wasn’t snowing in March and April. I learned that wearing socks on your hands for mittens beats having frozen fingers but they aren’t really that good as mittens.

I learned that Roman construction is so durable that it still stands all this time later. I learned that the history of the US is puny and insignificant when compared to the history of Europe. Both places were inhabited for nearly the same amount of time, but writing keeps the stories alive. As a writer of history, this is both gratifying and scary. How many stories have we lost forever and what is the cost of that loss?

3. I learned that technology is both my friend and my enemy. When my computer died, I had to replace it. I have been using the Windows GUI interface since 1995. I liked my desktop and my start button. I still miss the start button and still hate my Windows 8 computer. I still don’t know how to find the things I used to know how to get to with a simple click. I have no idea why they did this, but because I need a computer, I have had to deal with it.

I am online now via this horrible computer, my smart phone which has its own idiosyncratic behavior, and my Kindle Fire which is even crankier. I really need a tablet in here to round out my technological frustration level.

4. I learned that even nurses who worked in the field for decades can learn new things about health. I also learned that many people recite health myths because they have heard them preached before and they aren’t based in any medical fact. It is sometimes difficult to differentiate between the myths and the facts and being an informed consumer is essential. Also, knowing where to look for reliable information is mandatory.

I don’t know who started some of the myths or why they have had such a long life. I do know that just because “everyone” says something doesn’t make it right or true and it usually isn’t even everyone but a bunch of loud mouths.

5. I have learned that my family is made up of individuals who cannot be controlled by my wishes. We love each other and yet, we each have to live our own lives and make our own choices. No one is checking in with me to see if I approve which works out pretty well since I check in with no one else and ask their approval for my choices.

The best I can do in any of these familial situations is deal with myself and hope for the best. I love my family members to the moon and back and their choices are their choices. I can only hope they return the affection and permission and that we can all learn to live together in peace and harmony or at least without acrimony and accusations.

6. I have learned that I’m braver than I thought I could be while being frightened by nearly everything. I have learned that there is much more to learn and I will never know it all but can always know more than I did yesterday. I have learned to take a deep breath, regroup, and try again. I have learned that laughter makes even the most wretched of times more bearable. I have learned that love truly does make the world go round.

And now, as I face the next moment, day, week, month, year – I’m ready to learn some more stuff. Bring it on, world, I’m as ready as I can be.


I’m on Facebook and get to see the insides of way too many people’s minds. Sometimes the filtering system is slightly askew and I see way more than I see daily in my real life. We tend to not filter when speaking to a wider audience of the hundreds of friends on Facebook but when speaking to one or a small group, there is some internal dialog that keeps us from sharing too much information – sometimes.

Today, on my News Feed was a bunch of stuff about body image, body shape, fatness, fat shaming, and the like. It is the holiday season and so there were also links to various and sundry tasty dishes made especially for the holiday or for parties. What a disconnect.

Some of the recipes that appear on my feed are not all that bad. I have liked some Paleo sites and they put up recipes made from whole foods and lacking in sugars and starches.

Many of us claim to want the perfect body. I have no idea what that would look like but I know I’m too old to have one since when I picture it, there aren’t a bunch of wrinkles and … well I don’t want to get into TMI, but I am sixty.

That body, whatever it looks like, is not for sale. It isn’t for sale no matter what your age or gender. That sculpted look comes from sculpting. You don’t buy it in a box of Oreos, you get it at a gym. And slender or slim is not the same as skinny and while not necessarily dooming, skinny isn’t always healthy. Although, as a teenager I was skinny AND healthy (just a high metabolism and active life), it isn’t a guarantee.

And that’s the thing. We stress the LOOK of a weight or body type or shape or whatever. What we need to concentrate on is the health aspect. Being healthy isn’t a given. Like anything else worthwhile, it is earned. It comes from doing the right things.

If you eat fast food daily, you aren’t going to be as healthy as you could manage. Eating healthy means more fruits and veggies and less bread around them. Processed foods aren’t healthy no matter how they taste or what the label says. And that is our problem. We base our food choices, far too often, on taste alone. Or maybe the advertising. It is harder to have healthy food around. It takes more effort to peel an orange than to open a bag of chips. It’s easy to pick up a pizza and cooking parsnips takes a long time.

To add insult to injury, even foods that could be purchased off the shelf are made unhealthy by our food suppliers. We are having ever more difficult times trying to get food as Mother Nature made instead of Monsanto and the GMO crowd. Yes, it is nice that Round Up can kill the weeds and not the plants, but I’m not all that crazy about the entire population of the US being used for long term studies on how these modifications will affect lifespan and health.

The hardest thing I’ve done in years has been going BACK to the gym four times a week. It is daunting and lots of work each time I go. It is difficult and at times humiliating. The only way to get back to the body I knew was hiding here was to work for it. I was tired of being old and fat, old and tired, old and out of shape, old and winded, old and creaky. Now I’m just old and there isn’t much I can do about that. I don’t think I’ve been humiliated for a while, but I am still often chagrined. I am much younger and more able inside my head than outside it and I make attempts at things that old farts, or at least this old fart, can’t manage – yet.

But the thing is, with cleaner eating and more exercise, I’m in the best shape I’ve been in for the last couple decades. That’s what I’m really saying. I’m better now than I was at 40 (maybe, I can’t remember exactly how old I was when I stopped playing racquetball, but around that age). I’m stronger than I have ever been, for sure. I know there was never a time in my previous life when I could back squat with close to 100 pounds resting on my shoulders.

It didn’t come free and it sure wasn’t easy. It is difficult to get out of a nice warm bed on a cold winter morning and hit the gym. Eating better isn’t all that easy, either. Not only because of the work or price of healthier foods, but because of habit. It is ridiculously easy to grab a granola bar of any variety, but when you read the ingredient label and understand what it says, it is scary. And nauseating.

When I was born, Americans ate 0 pounds of high fructose corn syrup per year. It wasn’t around yet. Today, Americans average over 50 pounds of that shit per person per year. I eat some because I’m not a purist, but I don’t get my 50 pounds in – someone else is getting that for me.

You deserve health which means you have to take care of the place you live. This means that some of your snack food needs to be rethought. It means working at a better diet and working at working out or at least getting off your ass. It means taking care of your heart and soul as well. Being kind and generous does wonders for your health. Intellectually stimulating your precious brain does great things for your overall worthiness. Doing something that matters with your days gives not only structure but meaning to your life.

It isn’t easy – this health crap. It takes effort and planning – lots of planning. You must buy healthy food, set your alarm, make the time to do the things on your personal To Do list, and care for yourself. Nope. Not easy at all. But so very worth it.