Here’s the thing

I truly love the sound of my own voice or the look of my own writing. I’ve kissed the Blarney Stone and hove no problem talking and talking. I’ve loved the written word for over half a century and writing is pretty easy.

But … it isn’t all that simple. If it was, everyone would do it. Oh, wait. Here is a paragraph from Wikipedia on the topic of “Blog”:

On 16 February 2011, there were over 156 million public blogs in existence. On 20 February 2014, there were around 172 million Tumblr and 75.8 million WordPress blogs in existence worldwide. According to critics and other bloggers, Blogger is the most popular blogging service used today, however Blogger does not offer public statistics.  Technorati has 1.3 million blogs as of February 22, 2014.

And that’s the problem. I’ve been writing Little Bits of History for many years now. I began posting a daily blog in 2010. I’m still posting a daily blog there. At one time, I had a huge number of hits per day. I guess, when compared to this blog, I still do. But even there, numbers are dropping.

I’ve had a Blogger blog, and I guess I’ve never actually killed it and so it is out there and taking up some of the numbers. I have four separate blogs on WordPress and I really only use two. So all those blogs aren’t necessarily active.

I don’t write about hot topics. I’m not a Mommy blogger. While I do write about CrossFit and it is a potential hot topic, I’m not that kind of CrossFitter. I’m an old lady with a heart rate problem. Even I’m tired of hearing how, after three years, I am still an old lady with a heart rate problem.

Every once in a while I look back to see what I’ve done with a WOD we have already done before. But honestly, it isn’t really worth the effort I put into this.

There have been some new folks starting at the box. They are already doing better, moving more weight, getting faster times, and have better things to write on the white board. They are young enough to be my children. But that doesn’t go up on the board.

The only time I consider quitting CrossFit altogether is when I compare my score to the rest of the scores on the board. Mine is always the worst. I have the lowest weight, I have the longest time, I have the fewest reps. Sometimes I have all three for one WOD. And it is demoralizing. I’m working to capacity. I’m giving it all I’ve got. I just don’t have that much.

My heart rate is always high. I always go to the limit and it doesn’t really take much to get me there. It is uninteresting and the few times I have looked back to see what I did, I notice that it is always and forever my limiting factor. Therefore, there is no real reason to keep writing about it. All I need is a notebook with the WOD, my weights, my scaling options, and my score. I can write that down in less than a minute.

Even my histories are probably going to go away after the end of the year. It’s not that there isn’t more history and it certainly isn’t that I don’t have enough time. It is that I’ve been giving this away for six years and it’s more work that it’s worth that way. And I can’t stand the ads in order to monetize the damn thing and even if I did, there aren’t enough hits to make it worth my while.

If I thought about it and was paid less than a dollar to write, it would be more insulting than if I gave it away for free. My problem is what to do with my time and energy. If I won the lottery, I would travel more. But I don’t even buy tickets so that isn’t looking so promising.

I have 31 more history essays to write and then I will have a bunch of time with nothing pressing. If I find I can like it, I will just let that fall by the wayside as well. It has been interesting to do and I’ve learned an amazing amount of trivia. But it is always looming and the payoff is less and less.

With everyone out there blogging and blabbing, there really isn’t much of an audience for any particular blogger unless you have some niche. I don’t. And working that hard, even when it is easy, isn’t worth it.

Signature — Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

 

Food, dentists, listening

Rambling and unassociated thoughts for the day.

I’ve been obsessing about food as much post-WLC as I did during. I can tell you every “bad” thing I’ve eaten since this ended. I can’t tell you every “good” thing I’ve eaten, but they have been in the majority. I don’t know if 80% Paleo means that eight out of ten days is completely Paleo or if 80% of the food by weight or calories or something is compliant.

Regardless of what I am or am not eating, I weighed in this morning just to see if I was off track or not. I am the exact same weight as I was last Wednesday. I pick this day to weigh because it is a non-WOD day. My performance at the box has been okay this week, too. I have done mobilization each and every night immediately after supper/dinner/whatever you call the evening meal and before I’m allowed any dessert or treat.

Next topic.

A friend has been punished with a dental issue and talk of dentists crept into her writing. I personally hate going to the dentist. I have hated this since I was ten and Dr. Anderson pulled two healthy and so not very willing teeth and I got braces in order to fit all my teeth into my small, delicate, girly mouth. I’m not a good dental patient. I am always nervous and I try to remember not to bite anyone, but it is not always easy.

My dentist understands my fear, loathing, and possible psychosis on this. She is great and makes sure I’m always numbed to the gills before doing anything. This meant that last time I had two fillings, it was nightfall before the numbing stuff completely wore off, but at least it didn’t hurt during the filling stuff.

I always feel bad, because when I had my big girl job, people hated to see me. I was seeing people day after day, as they were experiencing one of the worst days in their lives. I always tried to be as pleasant and understanding as possible as I helped them cope with this totally frightening and horrific experience.

I was an OR nurse for twelve years. (Prior to that I was ICU/CCU and those people were so glad to be alive and their families were so grateful when we maintained that status, that some of the loathing was gone – but the fear was still there. Before that even, I worked the regular Med/Surg floors and those people just hated the whole experience, too. Hospitals are simply not fun places to be.)

Like my dentist, I knew that people didn’t hate me personally. I also knew that they needed me to take care of them to the best of my ability. And so, that’s what I did. I had my routine blah, blah, blah checklist I HAD to work through before anything else could happen. But instead of being robotic, I always tried to make it personal and ask open-ended questions and pause to LISTEN to the answer. By doing this, I found out some very interesting things over the years. Life-saving or life-altering types of things. I listened. I believe this is the greatest gift we can give to anyone.

This segues into the next topic.  I think this is why blogging is so popular. Bloggers write about topics of interest and then … this is the tricky part … other people might read it. Sometimes you know they read it because stats say so many hits on your blog for the day. Sometimes you know they read it because they hit the Like button, if there is one. Sometimes they reply and leave a comment. That’s amazing.

Total strangers come across something you wrote and then they leave a comment. You “spoke” and they liked or sometimes disliked what you said enough to respond. Seven billion people on the planet and somehow these strangers out there in the world found your blog, read it, and replied. That, to me, is astounding. And then even more remarkably, sometimes you get to know and care about these people.

I don’t know how I have found all the people I follow. I sample a few days’ worth of blogs and if I like it enough, I start following. I’ve done it so many times that I’m following too many blogs and my inbox is overfilled with notifications that they have written something. Some people I always – always, always – read, some I usually read, some I read when the title catches my eye, and some I’ve lost interest in. That last is sad, but … and here is the kicker, I let the notifications come and then they write something that catches my attention once again.

Listening is the most human thing we can do. It is also the most humane. It is kind and patient. It is the offering of our time to hear what someone has to say. Thanks for listening.

 

Questions and answers

I love words. I love written words and spoken words and the words running around inside my own head. I love the sound of my own voice, too, but that’s a different problem.

Anyway, I read a lot of different blogs and I find people commenting on the blogs I read and I click to their blog. Or someone comments on one of my blogs and I click to see their blog and I read. I am following any number of blogs and sometimes I read the stuff and sometimes the titles just don’t speak to me. So dear bloggers, remember the title is important. Then I put up that crap title, so don’t listen to me.

I’m a member of a writers’ forum and I read stuff there, too. I simply love words. I’m not so enamored with numbers although I can do simple math. When math starts hogging too many letters, it is just piggy and gets out of control. The function of f of g is too many words in my math and I’m done. Calculus, you are not my friend so trigonometry and I have never met.

So this morning as I was looking at my followed blogs, I came upon one by Girl on the Contrary and she asked these ten questions (she answered them, too) and I stole them and will answer them myself.

1. What is your favorite word? Nana. I love being a grandmother and I love it especially when one of the babies says that word. It was hard work being a parent, but a grandparent is a piece of cake smeared all over the table and then going home to a quiet, clean house.  

2. What is your least favorite word? No. Well, I don’t mind saying the word, but I hate having to hear it said to me.  

3. What turns you on? Intelligence. I don’t need looks or money or power or anything of the sort. I need smart and witty helps.  

4. What turns you off? Stupidity. I’m amazed at the stupid stuff I see on Facebook being posted by the people who are being not quite smart at the time. It is entertaining, however.  

5. What sound or noise do you love? Garage door opening. It means either I’m going someplace fun or coming home or that Dick is leaving me to some peace and quiet or returning home. All of those are good things.

6. What sound or noise do you hate? Screaming children. It is why the whole bus stop thing gets so freaking annoying by the second week of school.  

7. What is your favorite curse word. Asshat. And according to spell check, it isn’t even a word.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Author. Oh, that I had the courage to submit work for publication. 

9. What profession would you not like to do? Mortician. I can’t imagine having to deal with bereaved people all the time.  

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Welcome home. I would also like to see all my family and friends who are already there standing behind the Big Guy waving and waiting for me to come in and party.

So I have no idea who James Lipton is, but what the heck, I answered the questions anyway. How different would your answers be? Isn’t that what make life entertaining?