Last year, I got all the deadlifts and some of the wall balls. This year, I might get a few more wall balls and maybe make it to the row. That’s pretty cool. I will work within my limitations and try to have as much fun while doing this as I can muster.

I’m also going to try to explain to the youngsters in their 40s about how to recover while you are dying between reps. You see, you only exchange air at the alveoli level, so shallow breathing doesn’t really do that much good. AND you must empty the lungs of retained carbon dioxide before you suck in a nice lung full of fresh air.

Your lungs are similar to trees. There is the trunk, then the branches, and finally the little delicate leaves. In your lungs, these are the alveoli and that is where you need to get rid of icky air and replace it with nice fresh, oxygenated air.

The way to recover quickly isn’t a secret. Blow out retained air. More. Empty your lungs, really. More exhale. And only then does it do any good to take in a nice full breath and hold it for a couple seconds while your blood pumps past and can pick up some new oxygen. Then blow out again, hard. Really empty your lungs and hold that empty state for a couple seconds and only then take a second really deep breath. Hold that, exhale forcefully. Breathe normal. Then you are ready to go again and will manage more reps in your refreshed state.

This is the only way I can effectively get my own heart rate to drop. It is called box breathing and it is useful to lower heart rate, get fresh air in, and to alleviate stress. All positives when pushing through your 40th deadlift. All necessary by the time you are trying for a 55 calorie row. This isn’t just an old fart talking, this is an unregistered nurse talking.

Now for the cranky person who talks. I keep waiting for equality or fairness and it keeps being just out of reach. Once again, Dave Castro seems confused by the CrossFit mantra of “it’s all scalable” and believes that old women are such masterful beings, we don’t need any help.

If I was a decent old woman athlete, Dave would realize it would be terribly unfair to make me, over aged 55, move the same weight as a 19 year old. That’s just crazy talk. Of course, someone over 55 should have a lower weight. And so RX women 55+ have a break in the weight of their deadlifts. If you were a crappy athlete, like I am, you wouldn’t be given this same break. As a crappy athlete, Dave thinks it is reasonable to have a 19 year old and a 64 year old moving the same weight. Why?

If I were a man, Dave would worry about scalability for me. As a young RX athlete, I would be expected to toss a 20# med ball to a ten foot line. And as a scaled young man and as an RX old man, I would have the task of throwing that same weight ball to a lower height, just nine feet. And if I were an old unfit man, I could throw a lighter ball to the lower height and use a 14# ball to a nine foot mark.

But I’m a woman. If I were a young, fit woman, I would have to throw a 14# ball to nine feet. If I was an old fit woman, a young unfit woman, or an old unfit woman – we would all be throwing a 10# med ball to nine foot height. If Dave could figure out how to lower the demand for old men, why couldn’t he figure out how to lower it even still more to give me a nod to being older? Dave, here’s a hint. Ten pounds to eight feet.

So this week, I’m getting screwed in two different ways. It’s not unexpected. This is three out of four weeks where as an old unfit woman, I’ve not been given the same scaling crap as old fit people or young unfit people or even old unfit men. I’m apparently just too difficult to figure out for poor Dave, the blithering idiot.

He was tasked with writing five workouts. He apparently was overtaxed and copied word for word from last year. And even with that much less work, scaling his own job miraculously, he was unable to figure out how to make things equitable. I’m not even a Level 1 person and I can figure this crap out better. Dave should give me a call and I will gladly help him and make this possible for everyone, which is their claim.

Sure it’s possible. And I’m good enough to do this. But really, I keep hoping against hope for fairness.

I did twenty reps of each move today, just for practice. So I know I can do this. Now, to just stop whining about it.