I don’t go to the gym on Wednesday. I need a rest day in the middle of the week. I go two days, rest a day, go three days, and rest a day. That’s been my schedule for over a year now. I endure partner WODs in the name of getting a workout five times a week and if you have watched me over time, you know how I dread partner WODs. I always fear how little I can do and how much I hurt my partner as they have to work out with me affecting their scores.

I’ve been at Pivotal Fitness long enough to have to renew my membership. So I did. As part of a membership, you get an assessment. Last year, I skipped it. This year, I decided I wanted to know how fit and/or unfit I am.

I usually feel terribly unfit because I work with a bunch of people who are younger and fitter than I am or could ever hope to be. The next oldest person in Forge is sixty, so I’ve got her by six years. She rarely works out at the same time as me. Unfortunately, she is much fitter than I am. She is stronger and faster and all the things I am not. Well, it is fortunate for her, but leaves me feeling unable to do shit.

So I signed up for the assessment and was told it is better to do it either before a workout or on a day when you don’t work out at all. So I made an appointment for today. I want to know how I stack up against the norms for a 66 year old woman, not a 66 year old CrossFitter. I know where I stack up there. I’ve looked at my numbers and compared them to the leader board on the Open Games and I’m not the worst person in the world but there are many, many women who do much more than I can.

I was hoping to see that what I’m doing is paying off and I’m getting some benefit from all the hard work I put in. I mean, I know what I couldn’t do when I started and what I can do now, so I know I’ve improved over time. I know that I couldn’t string together double unders a year ago and now I can. I know I can run short distances and not die. I know I can do the Olympic lifts and my weights have increased over the years.

I want validation, I guess. I want the voice in my head to stop telling me I’m not enough and I should be doing more weights, more reps, faster times, and why the hell don’t I have a pull-up yet? I want to be who I thought I might turn into when I started all those years ago. I want to be 35 or even 45 again. I don’t think I’m going to able to pull that off.

I do laundry on Wednesday. And so today, I did the laundry and then got ready for my appointment at the gym for an assessment I hoped would make me feel a bit better about how little I can do (when seen against my WOD mates) or how much I can do (when seen against my overall peers).

I piddled around until it was time to go and drove over to the place. I walked in and scanned my membership card and asked what I was supposed to do next.

There is a new General Manager for the place. He’s not very trustworthy. In the past, he has looked me straight in the eye and told me there had been a $4000 order placed to replace stolen and damaged equipment for Forge. One of our coaches drove to North Carolina in order to get back most of the stolen equipment, but three of the women’s barbells never made it to the CrossFit there. The thief off loaded them before “donating” the rest of our equipment. They are now supposedly being replaced after the boss lady found out about the theft (which happened just before she came over here).

This liar guy was behind the desk this morning when I showed up. This asshat got a text from the man who was supposed to do my assessment last night around 8.45. The assessment guy is sick. And yet, there I stood in front of the damn desk. I glared at General Manager of Incompetence and he kept saying he was sorry. He told me there was a problem with something at the gym and he was sorry and he mumbled about being sorry.

They open before 5 AM so there was at least 4.5 hours in there when someone, anyone, a minion, this asshat, somebody could have sent me a text to say they had to cancel. But no. I drove over to the gym on my day away from the gym for no damn reason. If you have a personal training session and don’t cancel, they charge you the session anyway. Just saying.

Asshat Guy encouraged me to work out while I was there. I told him I didn’t work out on Wednesdays and that was specifically why I was there at that time. He said he was sorry. Again. I asked if he had my contact information. He acknowledged that he did. I left.

So here I am, old and feeble and madder than a wet hen. The guy is such an incompetent twit it makes me wonder how in the hell he has managed to work his way into this job. He lies. He is unable to actually manage anything.

He has also assured me that the lights will really be replaced. The kind they purchased several years ago are now dying. Well, the lights are fine, but the specialized light bulbs are no longer being manufactured. We are down to two out of nine. I wonder how long we will be working out in the dark while this buffoon takes care of business.