I learned to read when I was five. I’m good at it by now.

I learned to never click on a link to ABC News because they don’t know I know how to read. They believe I need some talking head to tell me what the article says. I can read faster than the talking head can speak especially since I don’t have “load”. But they need to speak and interrupt my reading so I learned not to click.

I have now learned the same thing about CNN News.

The Weather Channel makes me watch a 45 second video ad before I can watch a video. Then it is packaged inside their talking heads so I can watch another 15 seconds of them blathering and then I can see a 10 second video of what I might have been interested in. I don’t do that anymore, either.

Answers.com can only make slide shows. One. Thing. At. A. Time. And wait forever while all the ads load. I don’t go there.

If you can actually put four or five things in your list on one page, I will suffer through the loading process. I might even scroll down and load the next page in a new tab while I read the current page and be less annoyed. I have had to learn to keep my mouse far to the right or left in order to not trigger the video ads and ruin my experience.

It is completely unfair because I don’t use pay per view websites and so they need the ads to generate income and run their sites. I understand that. I have become a master at ignoring the ads, just like every other human on the planet.

Except we can’t totally ignore them and the people who pay to advertise know that. So they advertise.

I don’t know if they think they are helping their cause or not. Remax has been advertising all over Facebook and telling me how many home in the Charleston area are up for sale. They will also let me know how much my house could sell for, if I clicked through on something. Or at least that is the theory. I don’t know; I don’t click through.

What I have learned is that there are so many houses for sale in the area that my house actually being purchased may be a bit on the low side. So I don’t think I will be selling soon. However, if I do decide the time is right, I will call anybody other than the freakingly annoying ad monster that is Remax. Stop showing me the famous Charleston bridge in the middle of my newsfeed and on the sidebar and then near any picture and every other time I touch a new page on Facebook. I get it, you make your money selling houses. Go away.

George Orwell was correct. We are inundated with ads and videos and noise and nonsense.

I used to get a little freaked out every time I shopped at Staples for work items because I would then get those ads on my Facebook newsfeed and sidebar. But I’m retired now so those have stopped. I had a different work email and I still don’t really know how they knew me here at home, except I did check Facebook at work and they must somehow connect.

I created a Facebook thing where I could just see what my friends and family are doing. Today, it is 85 to 90% stuff not posted by my friends and family. If there was another way to stay connected to my friends and family instead of Facebook, I would do that instead. But since we are scattered across the country from east to west and north to south, I’m stuck checking in and seeing if anybody I actually care about has posted anything. I even have friends from other countries and around the world. I would like to keep in touch. So I have to go wading through all the crap I didn’t really want to see. Even if it was 50/50 it would be a relief.

In short, the internet might be here to stay, but there has to be a better way to experience the connectivity.

And newspeople. I know how to read. Let me read. In peace. Quietly.

Who asked them to put those autoplay high volume videos in there? I can only guess it was bosses who didn’t want their people surfing the web at work. Nobody else could benefit from this.