I have the new Windows 10 on my laptop. There were many issues with Windows 8 and they have been fixed. What Microsoft decided to do now is take over more control so poor idiot me doesn’t have to make any changes to my computer. It’s all taken care of for me.

My biggest issue is my mouse. I have a laptop so, of course, I have a touchpad. There it is. Right in the middle of the place where I put my hands. I had to call support as soon as I bought the laptop in order to find out how in the hell to turn the damn thing off. But I did. And I wrote it down. And the few times something happened and it began working again, I turned it right back off.

I can’t turn it off.

There are gestures I can make to have my computer do things I don’t want it to do. So, apparently, it is essential I have access to the touchpad in order to swoop around and make my computer do things quickly and efficiently. The fact that my cursor goes on walkabout all by itself when I’m – oh, I don’t know – using my computer to do what I wanted it to do is small price to pay for having the availability to have it do what I don’t want it to do.

I’m sure this is essential to music listening gamers. To me, a writer, not so much.

I do have a gesture for Microsoft and Windows 10 and their gesture enabled option. Unfortunately, that wasn’t included.

The next thing I now have is something called Cortana that will make my life easier by organizing all my various music and games as well as videos and assorted calendar event all together in one spot. I don’t have even one song on my computer. I am not a gamer. I don’t have videos and since there is nothing on my calendar, I don’t need this. But it is all together in one spot. I’m supposed to get help from it, but it can’t tell me the one thing I want. How to turn off the damn touchpad.

For many years now, you have been able to snap a program to the side of the screen and it miraculously resized to take up half the real estate. Now when I do that, it is opening up all the other running programs on the other half of the screen and I can’t have my document oversized while my browser is half the screen easily. I can cope with this, but I’m unsure how snapping by browser to one side means I want the other three programs to show up and be in my way. I’m sure there is a way around this helpful bit of technology, but I’m too busy trying not to set my hands down while I type to figure it out.

This is apparently called Multi-doing and I’m not sure how all sorts of shit in little tiny unusable windows is supposed to help me, but I’m sure I will learn. And I will learn to shut down Free Cell when I’m not playing it so it stays out of the way. I’m also sure this is going to cause some problems in the work world when all your open programs pop up and show the customer or client (or worse yet, boss) things they aren’t supposed to see. But I’m retired so I don’t care about that.

I understand wanting to do all the extra special things you can. But why do you have to make it mandatory for me to do them too?

Also included is a new browser which will make my life the best it has ever been. Instead of including Internet Explorer, they have renamed IE to Edge and it is supposed to be the bestest thing ever. I don’t know if it is or not, I use Chrome. What I do know is that if you use IE, export your favorites because when IE goes and Edge comes in, your bookmarks/favorites/whatever the hell they call them don’t come over. Dick lost all his stuff. I didn’t lose anything in Chrome.

I believe it is possible for me to pretend I’m writing on a webpage or something while I’m using Edge. I don’t know why I want to do this, but I’m sure there is some powerful reason for it. I don’t know if Edge has just as many vulnerabilities as IE did. I don’t have to worry about that.

All in all, this isn’t nearly as upsetting as Windows 8 was. The start menu is sorta back but in an entirely “intuitive” and “user friendly” way which means it’s a jumbled mess of shit and you have to make extra clicks to get things in a list in alphabetical order. But it is so much better than the crapshoot piece of shit that was Windows 8 “menu” and I use that word loosely. I never did figure out how you were supposed to find anything in that mess.

I now have a Phone Companion which means my phone and my computer will work together. I have no real desire to have them work together and yet have always had that option, but I assume it is easier to get my pictures and music shared in that way. I don’t have any music and I just post the pictures I want directly online when I want them. But it is there in case I ever feel my technology is lonely.

I also have a People App which does something. I don’t know what. I guess is connects Facebook and Twitter but I don’t have Twitter and no matter how many times it asks, I don’t have Google plus either.

What I would really like Microsoft to do is to allow me to have some control over the tool I buy to serve a certain purpose. I am a writer and I would like to be able to write without the damn cursor taking on a life of its own. All the new and improved features are okay. I can ignore the useless ones and might even find a use for them later. But really. The mouse thing.