Happy 42nd anniversary, Dick. I can’t believe we have been married so long. I remember us being young and with our lives stretched out infinitely in front of us. Now I look back and realize we were pretty damn good. Thank you. For everything.

We went out to brunch yesterday. Not that we meant to; we were going out to lunch but they had a brunch menu and so we had brunch. I tried wearing a very thin sweaterish type jacket this weekend and I found I couldn’t get my arms comfortably in the sleeves any more. My guns are too big. Isn’t that just a hoot? Who would have thought a Little Old Lady would have such a problem.

My legs were feeling better when I got up this morning. I didn’t make pitiful mewling noises when I went to pick up my shoes off the floor. I figured my time at the box was going to be fabulous. Kim wants to crochet some “gladiator booties” for a friend’s baby but she doesn’t know how to crochet. The plan was for me to bring stuff and after class, have a crochet class. Ryan told her to continually complain and keep saying, “I’m too young for this.” I love this place.

We were warmed up after a run and row and bear crawl and stretches and whatever else was in there. Then we began our day.

Today’s WOD as written:
Week 4/8
Warm up your entire body thoroughly
percentages based off 90% of your 1RM
(always choose a lighter weight when unsure)
rest 3-5 minutes between sets
DELOAD WEEK – Do not do more than 5 reps on the last set
Press –
5 @ 40%
5 @ 50%
5 @ 60%
Post entire workout!
30 ring dips
15 jumping lunges
30 pull ups
15 jumping lunges
30 hand release push ups
15 jumping lunges
30 ring rows
15 jumping lunges

I was so happy to see this. I love deload week. It is such a relief to have weights that aren’t killing me. I know it is all based off my own one rep max and all, but still. I love deload week. I’m a weenie and I’m lazy and this is perfect.

However, as always, I have issues. I spent some time with a calculator and came up with my numbers. They are pitifully low. In fact, they are so low there isn’t a bar light enough for me to get the 40% figure. I figured I knew what I would do, but I made sure that was a good plan.

My weights were to be 19, 24, and 29 pounds. There is no way to get 19#. I did some warm-ups with just a couple dumbbells but they really aren’t the same. Then I used the 22# bar for the first five and could actually make the other weights just perfect. I did those without whining at all!

I looked at the morning times. I figured that was a lot of reps. Gabe was done in 6 something and a couple people took over 13 minutes. I knew I would be closer to those people. I also knew that I was scaling this. At first I thought 20 and 10 and then I thought that was too weenie. I didn’t need to cut back that much. I could do more. So I went with 80% or 24 and 12. It was still a lot, but I thought I might be able to get three sets of 8 pull-ups which was going to be my Waterloo.

I used a 1” band on the ring dips. I used a 2” band for pull-ups. I did push-ups from a raised bar on the rack. I also did just walking lunges.

I managed 14 ring dips before I had to stop. I did box breathing and got 8 done before my knee in the band started yelling at me. I tried switching knees and nearly killed myself and couldn’t even get the last two done like that. Before I actually injured myself, I went back to my left knee in the band and finished.

Then I panted like a lizard on a hot rock. I got my heart rate down and did the lunges and then had to sit and get my heart rate back down.

I managed 8 pull-ups and my heart rate was 173. I could get my heart rate back down to mid 140s and go again. After 8 more my heart rate was 174. I couldn’t get my heart rate to drop farther than 150. I gave up and managed five. Stood there and panted and got two. Stood there and panted and finished that last one which may or may not have been a no rep but I counted it. My heart rate was 178. This was the only part of the day that hurt my bad arm and even that wasn’t very bad. I’m still not knitting at all.

I got it down and did the lunges. Then I managed 21 push-ups (which means I maybe should lower the bar a bit more) and had to pause slightly before getting the last 3. Then I got my heart rate down and did lunges.

I had to rest and when I was ready, I got 18 ring rows before I had to stop. I just sat on the ground under the rings and panted then managed to finish them off. My heart rate was too high and I had to rest but I was almost done so when it got down to 159, I figured what the heck and did the lunges. I finished in 14.30 and I felt absolutely awful.

I couldn’t tell if I was going to pass out, puke, or shit my pants. I didn’t really want to do any of them. It took me a few minutes of just sitting for the room to stop spinning and then the whole alimentary canal thing cleared up. I could teach crochet.

I went to the bathroom and washed my hands. I filled my contact case with solution. I put my glasses on and couldn’t see anything. I still had severe WOD brain. It took a few seconds for me to figure out that I had forgotten to take my contacts out so I took off my glasses and did so. When I put my glasses back on – presto – I could see clearly even up close and so we began our crochet lesson.

By time we were done with that, I was feeling human again and knew that I was going to be fine. I enjoyed the whole day. I love deload time. The conditioning portion was tough but doable. Not bad for an old fart.