I have been lovingly counseled that most women my age can’t do this shit. I’m not a loser and posting the worst score to the board every day proves that. Losers don’t even show up. No one even looks at the board, I’ve been told so I guess I’m the only person who walks in and immediately looks to see what earlier classes did with the WOD.

I thought that was part of the idea of posting to the white board. You can’t workout with your buddy, but you can still have a friendly competition by seeing who had the better score even in two different classes. There is nothing on the board that says “in a class by herself” or “the only really old fart here” or anything. There is just the worst score of the day next to my name. Always.

Craig is going to be working with somebody developing a masters program and since you young’uns don’t want to compete with the 20 year olds, masters begins at 35. Since masters starts so young, something had to be done about the old farts who used to be masters and now have no designation. So a new designation is in the works. Legends. I’m going to be a legend in my own time. I guess this is like Starbucks coffee sizes.

Anyway, Kat and I were there today with Kim coaching. We warmed up and got to work with our first week of becoming super better and fierce and mighty and all that.

Today’s WOD as written:
Week One

Warm up your entire body thoroughly
percentages based off 90% of your 1RM
(always choose a lighter weight when unsure)
rest 3-5 minutes between sets
perform as many reps as possible on the last (5+ set)
Press –
5 @ 65%
5 @ 75%
5+ @ 85
Post entire workout – 5 @ 65# / 5 @ 75# / 9 @ 85#
5 rounds for time:
10 ring dips
10 pull ups
20 air squats
1 minute rest
scale movements to the point where each set of each movement can be performed unbroken without kipping and maintaining a steady pace.
Post time to complete each round (not including the minute of rest). Try to maintain a 10% +/- average pace. The goal for this WOD is to learn your average pace and reduce the average not blow out one fast round and tank.

So I had a lot of math stuff to do last night, but I finally figured out my weights. I was doing just fine with the percentages since they totally leveled the playing field. Gabe’s 85% is just as difficult for him as my 85% is for me. We are each working with what is a pretty heavy weight – at least for us. I was all good with this leveled playing field and feeling pretty good. I work just as hard as the people moving lots more weight. Really.

Then we got to how to write it on the white board and all of a sudden I was back on the short bus. My puny weight would just look puny. Who can’t move such a small weight? Well, me two years ago but who would know that? 85% looks huge; 40# looks miniscule. A freaking water bottle for the office cooler. Big deal.

But I did my weights as close as I could. I could only get 29# instead of the 30 I needed, but I could get 35 and 40# exactly. I did them 5, 5, and got 8. I tried for nine but didn’t make it. Eight was getting a little ugly so I wasn’t distraught over not getting the next one. I worked to failure.

The five RFT was going to be a problem. I was supposed to get all the reps of each move done in one go. But my max pull-ups last week were 7 and so I doubted 10 was in the picture for today.

I ended up with a rep scheme of 7/7/15 and used the same band as last week for the ring dips but added the red band which is either ¾ or 1 inch and I don’t know which to the green 2 inch band for rounds 2-5.

On the first round, I began with a really low heart rate which was still tachycardic but not bad, probably around 115 or so. Subsequent rounds had me starting around 140 to 145. On the first round, I barely had to pause after the ring dips before I could start the pull-ups. Then I just did the squats.

On the rest of the rounds, my heart rate was around 165 each time I finished the ring dips and so I had to sit and box breathe to get down to high 140s before starting the pull-ups. On the second round, I tried just the 2” band and only got 5 so Kim said to add another band to make the scaling possible. For the rest of the pull-ups, I used two bands together and got them done without stopping.

My heart rate was too high after the pull-ups but I was already way past the time I should have been done. So I would take a couple deep breaths and just do the squats and then flop on the ground and try to do some math to figure out my time and when to begin again.

I finished the rounds in 1.31, 2.13, 2.07, 2.26, and 2.00. I have no idea what happened in the 2.26 round. I don’t remember it being any better or worse than any of the others. Apparently I sat and had to get my heart rate down for a longer period of time before I could start the pull-ups. On the last round, I didn’t even pause after the pull-ups because on the last round, all I ever want to do is be done and I figure I can rest when it is over.

I can’t really average that first round in because for me, it is unreasonable to do so. My average time was 2:11.5 so my high score was slightly off of the 10% mark. I don’t really know what this means other than I’m not consistent and my heart rate controls my work. I knew that.

I posted my score to the board with a little “3237 weeks old” note in there. And I just posted my percentage and rep count without the damn puny ass weights. So there.