No personal fun stories today. I’m just going to start out with a whine. If this was my first day at CrossFit, it would also be my last. I hated today. It was outright boring. I could have gone to any gym in the world and done this crap. I choose to do CrossFit so I don’t have to do this crap.

I woke up and looked at the WOD. I interpreted it different than it was written on the board when I got there which was a pain in the ass but not insurmountable.

Coach Jason was stuck with whiny me. It is such a task. I was the only person there who remembered it was Halloween. I wore my pumpkin shirt for the occasion. There had only been two at the 5 AM class and one of them was Ryan. We had more at our class.

We began with a run and Charlie was just parking as we left the building. He joined in. Jackson was back today. Todd was there without Cindy. One of the other nurses was there but I will be damned if I can come up with her name right now. I was there, too, at least in body if not in spirit.

We did other stuff to warm up and since it was Halloween, we did Frankenstein walk instead of soldier walk and we did Spiderman crawls except those make me sick so I just did push-ups. I was able to do the Supermans. Go me.

We were declared warm enough after dislocates and passthroughs and went on to this most lovely WOD.

Today’s WOD as written:
20 minutes
rope climb practice
Row/Deadlift Ladder
(20 min limit)
250m row
1 deadlift (225/155)
500m row
2 deadlifts (225/155)
750m row
4 deadlifts (225/155)
1000m row
8 deadlifts (225/155)
On the board it was written as a 20 min AMRAP and continued on.

I brought knee socks and put them on for the rope climb thing. I do not have the moves down for the wrapping the rope and standing on it thing. This is nothing I have any desire to do. If I ever fall in a well, they will have to drop those fire escape rollup ladders down to me to climb out because I will not be able to climb a rope to get out.

This did not stop me from attempting the move and not being able to do it. It is just a statement of fact. I would like to be able to double unders, even though I have no idea how that is a functional movement for anything. I have no desire to do a rope climb.

Then it was on to the most boring WOD ever. If this had been a 20 min cap, as I had read it to be, I would have dropped my rows to 200, 400, 600, and 800 meters so I would have had the same time frame as everyone else. But since I had to just row for freaking ever, I did that part as written. I was supposed to go 50-60% of my one rep max on the deadlift and so used 83# for that.

In twenty minutes my mind wandered as Jason looked for some Halloween music that wasn’t sleep inducing. I would just close my eyes and keep rowing and row and row and row and row and row and row and row and row and row and it was so damn boring all I could think of was the hell of being on a treadmill and how I hate machines and this was awful and whoops, time to do a deadlift or two or four or eight.

It was 17 something when I finished my 8 deadlifts and then it was back to the rower and row and row and row and row and row some more. The only exciting part of the whole thing was the last minute. Both Todd and Jackson had completed the 1250 meter row and were working on their 16 deadlifts. Todd was behind me and I couldn’t see what he was doing. Jackson was right in front of me but with his back to the clock. I was cheering him on and counting seconds as I continued to row. At least that part was fun.

I was supposed to put 414 meters of 1250 on the board as my score. This didn’t seem worth scoring to me. I rowed for 20 minutes when I wasn’t getting on or off the rower and doing 15 deadlifts total. Kim mentioned how quiet it had been. That’s because it was the most boring workout ever conceived.

I’m going to guess no one could tell, so I will say it clearly. I hated this day not because it was too hard or too challenging, but because it was tedious and unchallenging. I did not ever stop moving for twenty minutes, but I could have done that the day I walked in the door. Any dipshit can pull on a rower. There was no challenge and no skill and although there is a proper technique, it can be done without the technique. There is a proper technique to running, but we can all run even without proper technique. Endurance might be a great thing, but enduring this day did nothing to make me feel empowered or stronger or better. I just felt bored and like I had gotten up for no good reason at all.