Tuesday’s work environment was full of angst and there was much mediation and quiet talking that needed to be done to try to smooth the waters. I like smooth waters and I’m good at talking so I talked. And smoothed. And talked some more. I ended up talking so much that I was almost two hours late leaving the place. There was more talking that needed to be done on Wednesday, but after all the talking and all the smoothing, it seemed everyone was relatively happy and the angst had dissipated. I got to leave almost two hours early to make up for the time I stayed on Tuesday and I started a weekend and a week’s vacation. I’m not back to work again until October 13. How cool is that?

I wanted to get one more workout in this week and so I set my alarm for 5.15 and got myself to the gym. And once again, I was the only person there.

Today’s WOD as written:
20 minutes of pistols
intro to strongman

wobbly yoke walks
simulated stone carry

What was on the board did nothing to excite me and made me think of the great possibility of hurting myself. So Coach Cory and I decided to make up my own day at the gym, beginning with my own personalized warm-up. I did not want to do one of the Saturday WODs as written. I’ve played with these enough. I wanted a coach to look at my clean and jerk and tell me if I was going to get a “no rep” call for them. I’m good, according to Cory. We talked more about warm-up and how to go about getting myself ready for the WODs without having access to the lower weights. I really have no freaking idea what I’m doing.

Today’s WOD as made up for me:
clean and jerk practice

hang power cleans
wall balls
parking lot stroll

I used a 33# bar for the clean and jerks for Cory to watch and I was pulling my elbows up too soon. But for the WOD, I used a 45# bar and that makes me do them correctly because I can’t just muscle it up like I can with the lighter bar.

On my last wall ball, I didn’t hit the 8 foot mark and no repped myself and did one that hit the line. My heart rate stayed under beeping range except for the end of the 4s. I had a low enough heart rate to do the 5s without problems, but the 4s were done with an already elevated heart rate at the beginning. I didn’t beep while actually doing anything, but as I was walking out the door for my walk, I started beeping and didn’t last long. The lower reps weren’t high enough to make me beep.

We talked some about strategy. Cory suggested that I tell score keepers at the Masters Garage Games that I have to monitor my heart rate and if I’m pausing, it is to get my heart rate down so I don’t die and put a damper on the whole experience for everyone. They might be encouraging me to push through and I could push daisies if that happens too much, so I need to take my overall condition which includes living through the Punic Wars, into consideration.

I’m nervous. I’m scared. I have this fear of embarrassing myself, my gym, my son … anyone and everyone. I have to keep repeating, “I’m participating” and remind myself that this is not life or death. I’m going to do something totally outside my comfort zone. I’m going to not be the scorekeeper, I’m going to be the participant. I’m pretty sure I haven’t thought of everything that go wrong, but I still have time to work on that.