We like to say that we train and eat, not exercise and diet. In order to actually train, one must have a plan with both long- and short-term goals. There should be an overarching plan and then inside that, smaller steps to reach the bigger goal.

That is why my son and Conviction Training Facility do not do birthday WODs. They might be fun and different and out of the ordinary, but they screw up both the long and short term goal thing.

Six weeks ago, we started a cycle of training. I looked at the WOD on Mother’s Day and was all excited because I could do it. On Monday, on arriving at the box, they had a birthday WOD in its place.

I go to the box four times a week: Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I’m old and need the rest days to recover and not kill myself.

Today is Monday so I went to the box. I don’t know what was wrong, but I almost didn’t make it through the warm-up. I had to go outside and sit by the puke bush and hope I didn’t really puke because I forgot to grab my water bottle. After belching a few times, I felt passable, but not great.

Today’s WOD as written:
It’s the end of the cycle and time to re-test your skills. We’re going to take you back to the week of May 12th and see how much progress you’ve made since we started this cycle. Let’s put some numbers on the PR Board and show off your stuff.

Strict Press – spend 20 minutes working up to a 1 rep max. Don’t forget to warm up thoroughly (at least 3 light sets) before you start getting to your working reps and mobilize throughout.

then Baseline Re-Test
500 meter row
40 squats
30 sit ups
20 push ups
10 pull ups

Anvil Rx – rower on 5, air squats, abmat sit ups, regular push ups, any pull up
Heavy Rx – rower on 10, 95/65 back squats, GHD sit ups, hand release, strict, no breaking of the plank, I will call no rep on your ass and make you do 10 burpees for every non-plank push ups, strict pull ups.

This is the re-test from 6 weeks ago. Please be meticulous in you form and choice of any scaling. Try to re-test with the same scaling you did in the original test for a more accurate comparison.

I read this and went to look at May 12 and it wasn’t the workout mentioned. I looked again and tried other dates. Then I read the whole blog for the day and found out that this HAD been the WOD, but it was changed for someone’s birthday. When talking to Candace today, she said she knew she did this WOD before and Todd said they did it on Tuesday, my day to not be there. So I have done six weeks of building and the entire goal was to see if I could do better than the baseline WOD which I didn’t do because of someone’s birthday. I don’t even know who Sarah is.

I have looked at my stats again because I know I have improved over time. Today, I got a 52# strict press and tried with 54# and met failure. I have written in my stats that I got a 53# strict press but I’m going to have to assume that it was a push press because I simply can’t get that weight over my head with these spaghetti arms. I need some oomph from the cheering section to get that amount of weight up.

Then I had nothing to compare this WOD to, so I just did whatever the hell I wanted. I’m slightly ticked about this. No, I am really ticked about this. What. The. Hell.

I asked if it would be better to do my wormy normal push-ups or do plank push-ups from my knees. The latter was chosen. I used a green band for pull-ups and they had lots of kipping included.

There were only three of us and Steve and Todd were done rowing long before I was. By the time I was getting over to the squats, Steve was finishing up with his. I already had a heart rate of 162 before even starting. I did ten, was getting too dizzy, and then waited a while. I did 15 more, had to rest, and finished with another 15. My heart rate was 168. Sit-ups actually do not bother my heart rate, but they make me dizzy if my eyes are open. So I did 30 with my eyes closed.

Steve got done in 5.30 and Todd was done in under 6 minutes – his goal. Me? I was still pitifully working away at this nonsense. I was up to the horrible push-ups. I couldn’t get more than five in a row. And on the last five, I got three and the last wasn’t a plank and so I regrouped, tried again, it was ugly and so I reset my hands and tried again. They were just awful.

I got over to the bars and did the ten pull-ups, kipping each one and did them unbroken. I finished at 7.59. I then went outside and sat by the puke bush some more but I did have enough sense to grab my water bottle.

I managed to not puke but when I got home, I had to sit around for another fifteen minutes or so until I felt good enough to risk breakfast. Once I ate, I began to settle down even more and now I’m feeling fine.

Since I didn’t have a chance to do the baseline workout because of some stranger’s birthday, I have no idea if that is better or worse or just on par with where I was six weeks ago. I looked to make sure it wasn’t what I chose to do on Saturday during open gym and it wasn’t. Some things just make me want to scream, and this is one of those things. I work my ass off day after day. I’m always last but I don’t quit. I like having a benchmark to see if it is doing any damn good or not. To have a whole program set up and then do this is beyond my comprehension. But I’m sure Sarah had a great day. At least she better have.