I’m saddened by the #YesAllWomen movement. It puts women, yes, all women, into the victim seat. It makes us all look weak and ineffective in running our own lives. We look like children who are afraid of the entire world where all men are beasts and waiting to pounce on us and there is nothing we can do.

I’m old now, but I used to be young and sorta cute. I had a few unasked for reaches and attempted gropes. I never felt the need to placate or appease. The men who made the mistake of entering my private space learned to back up quickly and get the hell out. I wasn’t even in the same good shape I’m in now, but I knew how much power I had and I wielded it with skill and maybe a bit of finesse. I had a doctor introduce me as “The nurse you can look at; but don’t touch.’ I’m assuming I’m still supposed to be offended because he objectified me.

Brad Pitt. Johnny Depp. Channing Tatum. Eduardo Noriega. Leonardo DiCaprio. Hugh Jackman. Ryan Gosling. Christian Bale. Norman Reedus. I had to look some of these up. These are hot guys that many women I’ve known have mentioned they would allow in their houses for the night should the opportunity arise.

This week’s big news was Kim Kardashian and Kayne West’s wedding. Women gossiping about women. Objectifying and comparing themselves to idiots with lots of money and no taste.

It isn’t only men who ogle women’s bodies. Women are sizing each other up and as the nation gets fatter and there are fewer fit men and the time and space to create six-pack abs, we sit in judgment of men with two-liter abs instead. I can’t even hazard a guess at how many deltoids I’ve seen this week, but they are usually shiny with sweat or oil or something to make them stand out.

Women want to be loved for their minds and yet push-up bras are out there. Over $10 Billion was spent in the US on plastic surgery procedures in 2011 with breast augmentation being the second most performed surgical procedure after liposuction and Botox being the most performed non-surgical treatment. But we want to be loved for our minds. Really.

Are women targeted for acts of violence? Yes. Are men targeted for acts of violence? Yes. Are children targeted for acts of violence? Yes. It seems the problem is too much violence and to me, it doesn’t matter the gender of either the perpetrator or the victim. Too much is too much.

Are we really blaming a victim when we say that putting yourself in a dangerous place increases your risk of danger? It seems to me that if you are in a bar at 2 AM and falling down drunk, the likelihood of another drunk person to misinterpret your slurred speech is far greater than if you are at dinner at 6 PM and barely into your one and only glass of wine and speaking clearly.

Do men come on to women who don’t want their attention? Yes. Is that abuse? Is it intimidation? Is it violence? Have you ever gone onto You Tube and watched the mating rituals throughout the animal kingdom where the males vie for the attention of the female standing by and watching them duke it out for her? Those are some freaky videos.

There are those among us who feel if the world isn’t perfect, they have been a victim. This isn’t healthy. Not because these people are victims, but because they are victimizing themselves and giving away all their power. You have the power to say no and the large majority of men will back off. Those who won’t aren’t appeased by your appeasing behaviors; they are only encouraged. And if you say NO loud enough in a public place, there will be enough help from amongst the onlookers to keep you safe.

Just as a side note. Are beautiful, young women in the company of a Sugar Daddy being abusive? They have objectified the old goat into nothing more than a wallet. Is that wrong?

I refuse to be a victim. I don’t want any other women speaking in my behalf and turning me into one. Thanks, anyway.

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