I have struggled with CrossFit since I started. I am never going to be young again and I began too late. I cannot be one of the elite athletes and I’m trying to be okay with being both old and less. It is difficult, mostly because inside my head I’m still 35 which is odd because my son is 35 and his brother is 39. I’m amazed at how decrepit I am.

But I’m so much better, stronger, fitter, and even athletic than when I began. It is simply not possible for me to be young. I can be strong and move weight and even <gasp> run for short distances. But I can’t compete with those who are younger than my children. I know in my head that this is all scalable, but it sometimes hurts my heart to always have to write scaled after everything.

Yesterday, the two oldest members of the gym were talking to the owner. One of us is going to Regionals and the other one was me. Dwayne is an amazing athlete. I am an old fart. The WOD yesterday was really tough. The cleans and jerks were supposed to be at 65# for the lowest weenie stuff and I can’t throw that much weight over my head. I can clean it – once – from a high hang. But to do a WOD at my PR weight is unreasonable. I used 42# which was heavy for me for overhead, but I wanted the larger plates on the bar. I was talking to them about the inability to do stuff.

They were both saying it would be nice if there was a way to have a Patti WOD where age could be factored in. I was knitting last night and didn’t stop to look at the WOD as soon as it was posted. Around 9 PM I finally looked – and squealed – and broke into the man cave to tell Dick. I had a Patti WOD. This is a first for me.

I was awake half the night worrying about failing this morning. Failing myself. Failing Ryan. Failing CrossFit. Just being a failure. What if I couldn’t do a WOD that was written specifically for me? How crappy of a pretend athlete am I?

It was rainy and miserable this morning. We began our warm-up with a 1000 meter row. Guess who finished last. Then a bunch of other stuff and some new mobility crap for arms that really was a great stretch and then on to work.

Today’s WOD as written:
Spend 25 minutes working on ring dips. Remember your scaling and/or repetitions from the max effort attempt and find a slightly easier scale. Make 5 max effort attempts after warmup and mobilization. Rest at least 2 minutes between sets to ensure you’ve recovered properly for each attempt. Post your reps for each set and scaling.
5 – 2 minute rounds of:
buy in:
10 Russian twists
5 deadlifts
perfect plank Rx push ups
rest 1 minute

Heavy Rx – 40/25 slam ball for twists (feet off ground entire unbroken set or start over)
1.5x bodyweight deadlift
Bodyweight Rx – 40/25 slam ball for twists (reps count if feet touch)
bodyweight deadlift
Patti Rx – 25/14 slam or med ball for twists (reps count if feet touch). Use a mat if your ass hurts!
subtract your age from your bodyweight for deadlift
worm push ups allowed

Post your total number of push ups.

I got 10 ring dips with the blue band (3rd smallest) when we began. Today would hopefully be more. On the first round I got 12 and then after that I couldn’t manage more than 8. I tried dropping the band to have less resistance and help and so I struggled. I also can’t keep the rings from swinging. It is much easier to go up and down when I’m not swinging back and forth.

Now the WOD. I did Patti RX. I figured out the weight for my deadlift and although it was light, I didn’t increase it at all. I was taking every concession to my age. I’m so glad I didn’t get cocky because it was getting heavier and heavier by the end. Ryan even wrote how to protect my boo-boo and if I had to keep my feet off the ground for the Russian twists, it would have been a problem, but I could lean back a little without it hurting.

I got 30 push-ups on the first round, 25 on the second and by then I was laying on the ground after the two minutes resting for at least 30 seconds of my minute, 22 on the third round, 19 on the fourth round and I was trying to decide if that was enough reps for me to be happy or not, but after a minute rest I figured I could make it. I got to eight push-ups and while resting I was going to quit but there was still plenty of time. I only had to do a couple at a time. Then the time was running out and it would be over and why stop now. I ended with another 19.

I had a score of 115 Patti RX.

This was right in line with the big kids, the athletes, the people who manage to do stuff. I worked at my level and achieved more than I could have dreamed of when I began. I’m positive I couldn’t have deadlifted this much weight and there was no way I could have managed 115 push-ups inside ten minutes (with or without the other movements) when I began.

Today, I actually really feel like an athlete. And since tomorrow is my rest day, I can hold on to that for an extra 24 hours.