There are times when I’m simply defeated before I even start. I was like that last Friday. I got to the box with a chip on my shoulder and was mad about the whole thing. I’m not an elite athlete. I never was. I won’t be now. That ship has sailed. I’m not aiming for that. And yet … last week was a series of Open Games WODs and they were just over the top. They are only once a week because we aren’t supposed to be killing ourselves. But when you are in your early 20s you rebound faster and apparently don’t understand much else. So programming with copy and paste is the best!

I look at this stuff and realize I can’t which is just the opposite of what I was hoping for. I honestly can do much more than most women my age and I’ve worked really hard to get to where I am and that place is just the seventh level of hell or something and still totally worthless. It is all still so far beyond me and I’m pitiful and the whole thing just sucks. I have no idea why I keep going back. But I do. I wish I knew what was pushing me because I just might push it back.

My knee is probably 85% better. It still twinges a bit and wobbles sometimes, but it hasn’t been waking me up at night so I think it is getting better. There are still knots in there but far fewer and far smaller and overall it is improving. So I was ready for getting back to the box and then looked at the WOD and had to start chanting to myself that it is all scalable.

I woke up and my phone was dead and I hit every single red light between here and the box. Wonderful so far! Warm-up was five air squats, run the width of the box backwards, walk up the wall and try to get your nose to touch the wall, run back and then repeat 4 more times. My nose never got anywhere near the wall, but I did do 25 squats without pain. Then other stuff to be warm and we were ready.

Today’s WOD as written:
20-15-10 back squat
EMOM 14 min
Odd: 10 Push Press (115/75)
Even: 4 Muscle-Ups/5 C2B pull ups

The thought of 45 weighted squats sent me over the edge. I did the 20 and 15 with just a PVC pipe and even after a total of 60 squats my knee was okay so I figured I would do the last ten with just the 22# bar and I could feel a difference, but it wasn’t painful.

Since this wasn’t a strict press, I figured I could do a 42# bar and that’s what I set up to use. I managed the first round, but my heart rate was over 170 by the end of the chest to bar reps. I went and got just an empty 33# bar and used that for the remaining minutes. I would barely stop beeping and then it was time to start up again … until I was still beeping and it was time to start up again.

I used a green band for the chest to bar. I had a blue one there but with both I could have done toes to bar without bending my knees. It was like a slingshot up to the ceiling or something so I stuck with just the green. The highest heart rate I saw was 176 but I had already finished the reps and sat before I looked so I’m not sure how high it really went. Somehow I got through the last minute and made all the reps but the weight was low and the band was strong.

We worked on some more mobilization stuff and my knee seemed to be holding up. It is not as good as my other knee which is, if I remember correctly, the same age. But it is much better than it was a week ago.

No one in our class did muscle ups so I don’t feel so bad about that. Ricky and Jeremy both did chest to bar without any assistance and the rest of us weenies had to use bands.

I’m not sure any of today’s workout actually counts because without a phone, I couldn’t post a check in to Facebook from CrossFit so it might have all been for nothing.