Someone thinks I’m trying to be SuperJock or something. I looked at the WOD last night and figured Bringer of Pain is an ass. The Girls are named CrossFit workouts that are supposed to be benchmark WODs and give us all a chance to see how we are doing in the world that is CrossFit.

Karen is 150 wallballs. That’s the whole thing. But that’s not good enough for us. Today’s WOD is the CrossFit Games Open 12.4 thing. Because … I guess we are all going to the damn games and play with Froning or something.

Today’s WOD as written:
10 min emom
2 full cleans+1 thruster (~50% of 1rm full clean)
AMRAP in 12min
150 Wall Ball 20/15#
90 Double-Unders
30 Muscle-Ups

Well, I figured I could do 150 wallballs and not really squat low and my knee might be okay. I thought I would try some single unders and hope my knee was okay – IF by some miracle I still had some time and heart rate left. I didn’t worry about the muscle ups at all. There was no way in hell I would get that far in just 12 minutes.

Just as a side note, our box doesn’t even HAVE 15# med balls so no women were going to RX this – not that I would anyway. I don’t know if any of the women can do a muscle up. I know there are a few men who can, but I don’t know if they can do 30. I looked at WOD Hub and the average time for people to do 30 muscle ups was 12 minutes and some seconds. That was NOT having already done Karen and 90 double unders.

My first inclination when I see something like this is to be totally crushed; completely defeated. These are super human workouts and I’m just a regular schmuck. I’m not just a regular schmuck, I’m an OLD one. I would like to note that the masters women WOD for this had me using a 10# med ball to a 9′ mark. HA! That’s what I would have been doing anyway.

So I set my alarm, slept better last night, woke up twice with my knee aching but could fall back to sleep immediately, jumped at the alarm, took one step out of bed and my knee yelled at me. Maybe that was just inside my head. I thought about this. I just mentioned to someone else who worked through the pain that she had told me to take care of myself. So it would be entirely hypocritical for me to not listen to the both of us.

Going to the box today was dumb. It was going to ruin my healing knee. I can’t keep irritating it and expect it to like me. So I stayed home.

But I hate doing nothing. I told myself I would do something today. That doesn’t work so good which is why so many people need workout buddies or gym memberships or some community. I’m not self-driven. So, I told Facebook I would do something which meant someone might call me out if I didn’t. But what could I do.

I have no bananas. So I came up with a brilliant idea. I would run to Harris Teeter and get some. I know it is a little over mile to the big street and I figured it was about another half mile to the actual store. So I would be running my first (unofficial) 5K which tickled me no end since I really hate to run. But I’ve walked this many times before I even started CrossFit. I could do this.

And so I got my knee brace on, dressed right for the weather, put my running shoes on rather than my CrossFit shoes, looked at the time because no matter what, I’m still a CrossFitter, and I took off. I ran as much as I could. I walked more than half, but I never stopped. If I heard a car while I was running, I always kept running because I didn’t want anyone to see me breaking out into a walk. If I felt I could take off again, I didn’t worry about traffic; I didn’t mind being seen breaking out into a run.

I kept moving and my knee was holding up and no problems whatsoever and I watched the time to make sure I wouldn’t get caught in school traffic and it was taking a long time but I kept going and it was boring and yet I had to get bananas and was that another car coming along and god in heaven make this stop why did I pick this and then …

I got to the store. There was a note on the door. “We will close at 10:00 PM for cleaning”.

They have been open for less than a month. They advertise they are open 24/7. I ran my fat ass up there and they were closed. For cleaning of this pristine store. I could have spit. Now I had to get my fat ass back home. The trip back home was even more boring and more annoying than the trip up to the store, but on the plus side, I didn’t have to carry any heavy bananas home with me. But now I still have no bananas.

Just shit.

So, I showered and dressed for work and figured all the school traffic would be gone and I could get in the car and drive up there and accomplish two things. The first would be to get the damn bananas. The second would be to see how far I actually ran this morning.

It was 3.3 miles round trip. So I did run my first 5K and I did it in 48 minutes. My knee is fine and I will hope for some WOD tomorrow that works with my old, creaking, ancient body.