What am I hoping to get out of CrossFit?

At first I just wanted to survive each day and not have to cry over how frail and unfit I was. I wanted to be thirty again because that was a time in my life when I was really fit and active and my body was able to do whatever I asked of it. But then I sat too long and got too fat and turned into an old person. That last part is really galling.

The warm-up would include tossed off phrases like “lunge down the mat” and I would be all panicked because I couldn’t. Now I can. I know I have come light years from where I was when I began this journey. The only time to look behind yourself is when you want to see how far you’ve come. Well, it’s been a long road.

However, most of the road is still in front of me. Some of the road I will never travel. It isn’t my road that leads to the CrossFit Games or even to Garage Games – except as score keeper. Hopefully, this year I won’t make any mistakes. Ha. There is always a first time for everything. But I digress …

What are my goals for this year? If I don’t have any goals, any path will take me where I’m heading. So, where am I heading? What do I want to achieve?

This is so difficult for me. I can’t say I want to RX a WOD because the only time I have been able to do that is when we had to row for years and it just took me forever, but I can in fact, row for years. Any time there is a weight included, it is pretty much beyond me. I’m an old person and none of our WODs are written for scaled. They are written for RX and super RX. There is nothing there for the beginner or the frail, or the less than stellar athlete.

I’m no longer a beginner and I’m as stellar as I can possibly be, but I’m frail. I’m their oldest member and I’m not getting any younger. It is what it is and therefore, RXing a WOD is probably an unrealistic goal.

But what can I list for an achievement hope – or even <gasp> a goal?

I have gotten body weight for a deadlift and who ever thought I could do that? I was tickled pink when I finally got that 42# bar off the ground. Now I can get it overhead – but not very often.

I finally got one, count them – 1- double under but I can’t string them in a row. Is that a goal? Do I become the Count from Sesame Street and get to two, count them -2- double unders?

I know the form with a snatch but can’t get iron over my head. I don’t know if it is coordination or strength that is lacking, but something sure is. Should I make this a goal? 22# snatch!

I used to use the kid 4# med ball for wallballs. I can now manage the 10# ball, but RX for women is 14#. Can I manage to get to the shorter woman line with that? It isn’t as big as the leap from 4 to 10 which was 2.5 times the weight. It isn’t even half again as much. Surely, this is possible.

I started with really crappy and barely discernible ring rows and now I can manage a single blue band for my band assisted pull-ups. Can I get a real pull-up without any bands involved by the end of the year? Kipping allowed. Right? I mean, I’m old and frail and gravity is a bitch.

I began with pushups from my knees like a Little Old Lady and graduated to real boy pushups, but they are wormy. Can I keep a better plank position while doing these? I can now do a clockwise and counter-clockwise plank without falling apart so maybe I’m strong enough for this soon.

I began with box jumps on a single 50# plate which is just a couple inches or so. I hurt myself when I missed a 23″ jump and have gotten myself so scared I can’t jump on anything anymore. I get so fatigued and then I’m terrified I will miss again and it took so long for this old person to heal. What do I do about these? I have been doing step-ups, but is that cheating? I really need to ask Craig about this if I can remember. That old stuff gets me coming and going.

I hate burpees which makes me pretty much like everyone else. I would like to be able to get seven of them in a row – real hopping in and out – without rest. I wanted to put a ten in there where the seven is, but … I really don’t know if my heart rate can take it. I need to experiment with this one.

I have my weights for many of the lifts written down and I would like to PR them this year and get all those numbers higher. I should be able to do that except that we don’t really program for that at my box. We do the same thing all the time. I am so sick of back squats, I could scream. The only PRs I’ve gotten in the last couple months have been on Thursdays when I come to open gym and work on lifts by myself.

I try not to compare, but CrossFit Hilton Head had 111 (they counted them) PRs in December. CrossFit Summerville has maybe a dozen and two of them are mine from my Thursday stuff. Honestly, what is the programming supposed to be doing? I don’t think we have a program, we just have WODs scheduled willy-nilly. But, even with that, I’m stronger and more agile. I’m fitter. I’m leaner. I’m meaner. I’m more confident. I will keep going back.

All I need are some tangible goals.