I’m trying my best to come to terms with my son and his family moving away. Just a few more days and then … far away. I’m trying to appreciate the time I’ve had with the babies and how nice it has been to watch them grow up. I’m trying to not hear Frankie asking why her cousin is leaving. I’m trying not to just start crying. I’m mostly succeeding, but not all the time.

He has a job he starts January 2 and they have a place to stay with a lease only lasting a short time so they can upgrade later if needed. I often catastrophize and this is no exception, so I’m working on looking at the bright side. I’m pretty sure that Christmas Eve was the last time the kids will be at my house. Traveling two hours once a year was so difficult that I’m certain 12 hours will be impossible. So if I want to see the kids, just as always really, it will be up to me to figure out a way to get there. We’ve been doing that already, so it isn’t that different. We will find a way.

Because I’m so jittery and angry and upset and worried and all the other things I am, it was really important that I work some of the stuff out. But I didn’t want to wake up in the middle of the night and face another long day of trying not to cry. So the plan was to sleep in and go to open gym. I didn’t manage to sleep in much, but an extra hour is an extra hour. It was also a bit warmer by 9 AM and that is a plus for this now-Southern girl.

Getting to the box and burning through some energy was just what I needed. I bought myself some Reebok socks and I wore a pair on Monday. But I couldn’t get the other ones on because my legs were too fat. I don’t think that’s right! Today, I used some baby powder first and got them on. Wild socks with my wild shoes. I was ready for the box!

I didn’t feel like running so I did some jump rope stuff. I missed a few and then ran 125 jumps without stopping. I stopped, didn’t miss, but I had run out of steam. I used to be able to jump rope as a kid forever. This getting old crap isn’t that easy. Then I worked on warming up some more and finally felt good enough to start.

Today’s WOD as written:
10 min working on candle stick roll into a pistol
10 ring dips
10 box jumps (24/20)

My behind is already on the verge of road rash from all the sit-ups and the whole candlestick roll thing wasn’t looking at all good to me. Instead, I opted to work on my front squat. That’s the beauty of open gym. I do what I want.

Every damn Monday is back squat and my back squat has gotten much better. But since I don’t go on Wednesday and I go late on Thursday and Friday is partner WOD and we don’t seem to have a skill in there because it is necessary to try to kill us – because of all these things, I don’t get to work on basic skills.

I need to start rotating through the basic moves and get some work done on my own time. I’m smarter than a box of rocks (barely) and should act like it. So today, I worked on front squats. First order of business was to see what my last PR was. 62#

I worked with a 33# bar and so technically, 63# was a new PR. I got three easy squats with that weight. So 68# was also a PR. So was 73# and again at 78# and even 83# was a new PR. But I didn’t drop the bar on that weight so I added five more and got a full squat and back up and racked the damn thing with 88#. That’s a 26# increase or a 41% increase. I front squatted with more than 2/3 of my body weight. And it was much deeper than an air squat was when I started this crap. CrossFit really works – if you do.

There were two other people at the box for open gym. Becky and her boyfriend. Or something. I have no idea who he was or what his name was or anything. They were both younger than me by decades. Just like always.

He did real ring dips, she used a red band, I used a blue band. He jumped on a 24″ box, she jumped on 20″ box, and I tried jumping on an 18″ stack and freaked out after three jumps and nearly skimming the top and just added another 25# plate to my stack and did step-ups on a 20″ height and called it a day.

I had to rest before each round of ring dips because I was beeping too much, but I managed to string them together mostly. Just slight pauses to regroup and reposition my hands or something. I finished in 6.53 which was better than I thought I would do. I had a heart rate of 173, but it came down quickly. I have no idea how to overcome this fear of losing my shins again. It is just so scary and I’m such a weenie with these horrid box jumps.

So now I’m home again and fed and watered. My next big challenge is going to be to see if I can get these sausage socks back off.