I made real potatoes au gratin last night and they worked pretty good even though I only have almond milk in the house and no real stuff. I’ve always made a roux with equal parts butter and flour and the recipe called for much less flour and so it took an awful long time to thicken, but other than that, it all worked out well.

Last night I looked at the WOD for today and still had no idea what I was doing. I looked it up via Google and still had no idea what I was doing. Fortunately, there are coaches and so I slept the sleep of the just and got to the box on time.

It was 33⁰ out there this morning which isn’t horrible or terrible, but isn’t all that nice, either. I was dressed appropriately in long pants and a short sleeved t-shirt under a long sleeved t-shirt with a sweatshirt type jacket over it. Luckily, we didn’t have to run in the cold. It was a 1000 meter row and then squatting stuff and shoulder stuff and then the incomprehensible WOD.

Today’s WOD as written:
CrossFit total
no more than 3 attempts above 90% of 1 RM so plan right
squat
press
deadlift

I was struggling with the concept of the 90% stuff and was just confused overall which happens occasionally even at this late date.

So, I was allowed to warm up to the 90% with as many reps as I wanted and then had only three attempts to increase to a new PR. That made more sense. I was able to work with that.

Candace was leaving as I had 93# sitting on the rack. That was three ten pound plates on each side of a 33# bar. She left the 6 AM class for the 5 AM class when it became available so she remembers how I struggled to do anything with just the plain 22# bar and how I really wanted to get weights on my weight for a move. She commented on my bar and it made me smile.

Coach Ryan said we were trying for the most weight we could get and we should pretend we were in a competition. I said I lost. He said that in my age and weight class I would win since I’m the only one there. I know this is true, but …

I did get that 93# back squat on the second attempt. I actually got it on the first attempt but I called no rep on myself because I knew I really didn’t break parallel with my squat. So I tried again and nailed it but my right knee was wavering. I asked about trying another 5# and Ryan said that in order to protect my knee, I should try to not be so dumb, but he said it nicer. So I stuck with a small gain, but a new PR on my back squat.

I looked before leaving the house today and my former strict press was 32#. I wasn’t sure if this was a strict press or a push press since it didn’t say, so I wrote both numbers down just in case. This number was from last spring so I figured I should get substantially higher on this one. I warmed up with a plain 33# bar and announced I had a new PR. That made me giggle. I worked my way to 53# and missed the first attempt. I reset, squeezed every tiny muscle I could find and pushed overhead for a new PR on that one.

Then I did the deadlift. I just got a PR on that last month and it was a struggle on a warm day when that was all I was working on. I couldn’t even hit the PR and lift the 138# off the ground. Damn gravity. But I did get the 133# up which is more than my body weight so I should just be happy with that.

And that is my problem. I got two PRs and managed to do amazing crap today but I was too ashamed of my numbers to even put them on the board. Not because there is anything horrible in any number. In my age and weight class, I did the best of anyone. I got a score of 279# in three lifts which a year ago would have been astonishing to me. I’m actually astonished now. I managed to do increased work and not hurt myself in the process.

But with numbers higher than my total being someone’s single lift or other, it is slightly embarrassing to have to admit to feebleness.

There is a poem I’ve loved since I was a kid called School Days. A little boy loses a spelling bee and after school, as they leave, his cap is pulled low on his face “where pride and shame were mingled” and that is how I feel today. I’m both very proud because without all the hard work I’ve done in the last year, this day would have been impossible. I’m still ashamed of the puny numbers.

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