I have never been so obsessed with food in my life. I was at the store again yesterday. Publix didn’t have the almond unsweetened milk stuff in original and I did not want vanilla. So I went to Walmart on the way home from work. I needed stuff for work anyway and I was almost out of pistachios at home as well. I found pumpkin seeds, too. And cashews.

I usually shop in the morning and the shelves were really empty at this time of day. There was almond milk but it was at the back of the top shelf. Some innocent man was standing there and he was taller than me. I asked him to reach it for me and he did. As I went up the plastic bag aisle, some shorter woman was trying for the back of the top shelf of garbage bags. Since I was taller, I got them for her. You almost never get to repay things that quickly.

I looked at the WOD last night and just laughed. Ryan had said it was going to be burpee week. I’m unsure of the psychology here, but these are brutal for what seems to be no good reason. Luckily, I don’t believe everything I read and I knew I was going to be okay. Cindy was there, but Todd wasn’t. After she saw the WOD, she said he must have looked at it last night and then decided he was still sick. Ricky was MIA as well. He said he was going to try to make it today but is out of town for the next two days. Sure, on burpee week.

Warm-up was a 500 meter row. Then toy soldier down the mat then broad jump back (into a low squat but that just kills my knees so I just mostly narrow jumped because my jumps aren’t very broad). Then we did some high knee skipping and Cindy and I merrily skipped down the mat and Ed and Martin both struggled with it. I know that happens in kindergarten, but I guess boy people really aren’t all that good at skipping ever. Then ten V-ups followed. We did dislocates and passthroughs while we watched the video on toes to bar.

Today’s WOD as written:
Spend 10 min working on TTB
For time:
100 DU
80 burpees
60 box jumps (24/20)
40 situps
20 pushups

I can get my knees closer to my elbows but that last kick up to the bar is not in my near future. Probably not in my distant future either, but who knows.

Then it was time for nonsense. That is just crazy talk there. First thing I did was cut the reps in half. Kim graciously offered me just 100 single unders instead of the 4:1 ratio we love so much. But since I was cutting everything else in half, I figured I could do the 200 singles. I was dreading even 40 burpees but they were possible since I did 36 yesterday. The box jumps weren’t going to happen on a 20″ box. I had the 12″ with a 50# plate on it. Sit-ups and pushups are no problem at all (who thought I would ever say that?) but I cannot do a hand stand pushup to save my life. Kim said just hold a plank for ten seconds.

I got the single unders done in 100-50-50 reps. I did the burpees five walk in and out nastiness I-hate-you things at a time. Martin had already tripped against the box before I started box jumps and my bruise still isn’t totally healed from the last encounter. I weenied out and took the plate off and did the jumps on just the box. I managed a 7-8-7-8 rep scheme. I was beeping like crazy but sit-ups and beeping mix. I did them and my heart rate actually came down while I knocked them out. Then the pushups with beeping for the last two so I had to regroup before the plank. I should have done a thirty second plank because I could have. But I finished in 17.12 and just sat and panted.

I knew that with a WOD like this, I had to do something. I figured half the reps would work and I could live with that. The real athletes who show up at the box can do this stuff. Martin did RX and it was not in much more time than I did half. Cindy was so upset by the end and she had worked so hard. She simply could not get the last two hand stand pushups and was beating herself up over that. Hell, I can’t get one and I think I am a beast. I guess it is all perspective.

The rest of my day should be filled with whining about water. I will be so glad when this ridiculous water consumption thing is over. If the next thing is sleep so many hours a night, I have no idea what happens when I’m tossing and turning for hours in the middle of the night like I did between 2 and 4 this morning. That getting up to pee is the instigation so maybe I will be able to sleep if I don’t have to take a journey to the next room. You see, my whole life IS a challenge.