No one in my family would be surprised to learn that I have not lost any points in the Whole Life Challenge to date. Instead, they would be shocked if I had. I’m competitive. My baby sister, if she is reading this, just spit coffee all over her screen while telling the computer, “You think?”

I’m supposed to be increasing my satisfaction with my life and making it better by making it more well-rounded while including health and fitness in a more natural way. Instead, I’m obsessing about what I eat to the point of driving people crazy and drinking water and complaining about it ad nauseum, a perfect term.

There is fun looming on the horizon and I’m not sure about it. You see, we might be going out to dinner on Saturday. This should be fun. It is with family and would be a way to enjoy some time out. Instead, I’m worrying about points. This is stupid. Life is not about points. The winner is not the person with the most points; it is the person who lived fully.

I know this. But there are points involved. This is an easily measured thing. A point is a point and by any other name would smell as sweet or be as bitter if I lost it. But the whole point (pun intended) is not to collect points, but to collect life experiences.

I’m struggling with this. I want to be an A student even when there is no class, no test, no reason to be this compulsive. The better way to play the WLC game is to create a better life by doing good things in a healthy way. Going out to eat with family is a good thing. It can be done in a healthy way. And if I eat a potato or, God forbid, a dessert the world will not come to an end. Instead, I will no longer have the perfect score.

The health and fitness circle isn’t supposed to overtake all the other portions of my life. It is supposed to enhance them. I’m supposed to grow in ways that make it possible to enjoy and good life for a long time, but it would be pointless without having the good life.

I need to relax. There is nothing written in this challenge about relaxing. I don’t get a point for it. But I might get a better life with that included.

I have written a response each day so now I have bonus points available, a way to cheat and still win. I have not had any chocolate since Friday because I wouldn’t lose the point. It really hasn’t diminished my life in the least. But chocolate has been a staple of my life for eons now and I don’t even eat a whole serving at a time. I savor it. I enjoy it. Prior to joining, I asked. I have to take off a point for each serving of chocolate I eat, just like you lose a point for each beer you drink.

I’m really thinking of eating my chocolate bits after dinner. It will be about one-fourth of a serving, if I even eat that much. What is sadder is that I’m also thinking of NOT eating my chocolate after dinner. There is no reason to be this obsessive except that I’m – oh, I don’t know – competitive. I can’t beat anyone at the box because I’m old and feeble. I’m not the fastest, spryest, strongest, most flexible, greatest endurance … I’m not anything but determined. I can’t force myself to be younger just by dint of willpower. But I can read labels, not eat or drink what I shouldn’t (and I’m so glad I picked Beginner level because my compatriots are stuck with even less), and accumulate points. I have control.

I should let go of some and have some fun. Life is best done with a smile, not a grimace of determination and a false sense of accomplishment for being OCD.