I don’t know exactly why I forgot to sleep much last night, but I did. My leg would hurt and then I was worried about Morgan’s birthday cake and I’m not sure how to make it OR how to transport it should I figure out how to make it. She wants a Barbie doll in the cake with the cake as the doll’s dress. I even had a cake like that when I was three or so. I don’t know who made it but I think it was Bert. I have no idea how it got to Aunt Kathy’s house, either. And it wasn’t a Barbie because I’m older than that.

Whatever it was that kept me from sleeping, it worked. I was sound asleep when the alarm went off and it was very difficult to drag my fat ass out of bed and get moving. But I did.

I looked at the WOD last night and practiced a few moves to see if it was going to hurt my ouchie leg where I missed the box jump on Tuesday. I tried a few jumps and I ran a little bit and it seemed okay. So I knew I was good for the box in the morning so I went to the box in the morning.

Warm-up was a 200 meter run and I could do that. Coach Kim put the ten parallettes out in a row and then on the other side of the gym she had ten cones. We were to jump over the parallettes and then run back and forth through the cones first facing front, then facing toward the east and then toward the west. Now THAT hurt my leg. I could do a small jump straight up and down, but higher jumps hurt and I know even changing direction walking hurts. I rowed while they all did this stuff and kept myself warm because we wouldn’t want me to cool down.

We then did that same stretch as Tuesday and I think she called it a Samson stretch. And then we ended with dislocates and passthroughs.

The WOD as written:
Spending 15 minutes practicing double unders
50-40-30-20-10 reps for time:
Double Unders
AbMat Sit Ups
Anvil Standards for Rx Sit Up:
Both hands touching the ground behind your head.
Both hands touching the ground beyond the end of your toes. Not touching your toes or the ground outside your feet. Soles of the feet touching and knees dropping to the side.
Must use AbMat.

I knew that the first time I missed a double under and whipped myself across my scrape/bruise that I would burst into tears and go home. I have never done a double under in my life and figured I wasn’t going to get one today. I did some jumping just to keep from cooling down.

I’ve looked and people who think they can force folks to do double unders by punishing them more for single unders are, in fact, upping the ante and insisting that 4:1 is a good ratio because “it will force you to do double unders and you will thank us later” and all that shit.

Part the reason I didn’t sleep last night was double unders. I decided I really could, if I really had to, do a 3:1 ratio. It would be 450 jumps and 150 sit-ups total and I might be able to get that done. But no! We do 4:1 because it will help me have a heart attack and die and that will make me grateful later or something like that. Well, I wasn’t doing 600 jumps. So, if I had to write scaled next to the already humiliating single unders anyway, fuck it. I opted to do 300 jumps and 150 sit-ups.

Perhaps they believe all jocks are really stupid or something, but I come to the box to get better, not to kill myself. Perhaps I’m the only old person doing CrossFit, but I know that is a lie because Craig has people older than me at his box. He also has a 3:1 ratio and already scales his WODs to three levels or more.

Martin finished first and could do the double unders without problem. He is probably in his early 20s and Alysha tried double unders and got some but not all. She could do twice the number and count her single unders as one each and then throw in a double under every third or fourth jump which didn’t seem like good math to me. Ricky did double unders, Todd did 4:1 single unders. Danielle, the lady who tried to pass out on Tuesday had breakfast today and she did a 2:1 ratio, just like me. I finished in 15.23.

I have road rash on my ass from 150 sit-ups and my leg is on fire right now. But I got through it. There are just days when I feel like I’m being set up for failure rather than being encouraged to grow. This is one of those days. Perhaps I’m missing something and the afternoon classes are chuck full of elite athletes who can do all sorts of powerful and masterful stuff.

I know it is all scalable. Today I scaled for myself and may have overachieved on the scaling. I worked really hard so I don’t know why I’m so ticked off, but I am.