One of the dumbest things about my early education was when the entire classroom would be punished because “somebody” did something wrong and it was impossible or too difficult to tell who that one person was. So the entire room would be punished. I think it may have been so we would learn the power of tattling, but I’m not sure what the motivation behind it was. All I know for sure is that it is wrong to punish the innocent because you are too lazy or incompetent to find the guilty.

My classroom management was never so scattershot. In fact, I got in trouble with a teacher once because I wouldn’t wait for the one kid to click on the green circle and told the rest of the class how to get to the game and start playing. It seemed wrong to me to make the entire class wait while Dingbat Kid didn’t click on the green circle. The teacher told me they were “just first graders” and I pointed out that the kindergarten kids were able to manage the task the day before. I did catch her later that week stamping her feet and yelling and when she caught my eye, I just smiled benevolently. I’m nice like that.

So what’s my point? Speed bumps. The last time I went to Publix over by Ashley-Phosphate Road I decided that it was stupid for me to be bumping my car along and over two speed bumps just because teens might like to drag race here after dark. I’m about half way between two Publix stores and I can just as easily, maybe even more easily, go to the other one. There are no speed bumps there and I won’t throw my car out of alignment getting in and out.

Wal-Mart is off Dorchester Rd, a busy four lane divided highway. I have more than one option for getting in there without going way out of my way. However, I’m stuck with only one exit or driving out of my way and hitting speed bumps in the other direction anyway.

Getting from Dorchester to Wal-Mart used to be fairly easy. There is a small street about a block long. Gerald’s Tires & Brakes is on one side of the street along with an undeveloped area full of trees. On the other side of the street is a Ford dealership. The road curves around and behind the car dealership and there is a strip mall (relatively new) on the north and an older strip mall between the car dealerships and the Wal-Mart parking lot.

This used to be a straight shot through and the road made a 90⁰ left turn and there was no place else to go. However, in the last year a bunch of cheap apartments were built back there. They would have to be cheap because no one who could afford an expensive apartment would like it located right next to a Wal-Mart parking lot.

So the road that only turned left, now also goes straight back to the apartment complex. And now there are two new speed platforms. They aren’t even just bumps, but those up, go a yard, and back down horrid things that just want to ruin your alignment and if you have a nice little low car like mine, tickle the undercarriage. I realize that most people here in South Carolina drive monster trucks, but not all of us do.

However, even with my low slung, high powered sports car, I don’t think I could get it over a reasonable speed limit while scurrying down the short block even before the speed shit was added. But this is only the first. As you make the left turn, you get to go over a second one of these speed platforms. Coming from Wal-Mart and trying to get back out to Dorchester, one is faced with a speed platform at a stop sign. We aren’t really all that smart here in South Carolina and we can prove it with our educational stats. If one was trying to slow traffic, perhaps the ONE place to put a speed bump would be where the apartment complex roadway joins the road that has always been there. They don’t have a stop sign and if anyone is going to be speeding through here, it would be the people with the straightaway.

Instead, we are punishing people who historically have managed to get in and out of Wal-Mart without issue.

I hate speed bumps. Ticket the people who speed because punishing people who are breaking the rules is fair. Making everybody suddenly stop as they turn left in front of “speeders” barreling out of the apartments looks like a place for a great accident. I have no idea who planned this, but I assume they are South Carolina born and raised (and educated) nitwit. The ONE place where a speed bump would be useful (and a stop sign would have worked better and been far cheaper) is where this is none.

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