We are clients at Ameriprise Financial. In order to focus your plans, you need to know what you are planning for. They have developed something called a Dream Book to help clients focus.

I really don’t have big dreams. I want to live long and prosper. I want to be healthy right up until I’m dead. I have more dreams about what I don’t want than what I do want.

1. What part of your life do you value most?

Well, this changes quickly as parts of my life get disrupted and become a driving force for a while. Usually all I want is to be left in peace.

2. If you could do anything in the future, what would it be?

Again, this shifts. But I would like to be massively wealthy and never have to worry about money again. I have no idea how much money that would be but I believe it would involve winning a Super Lottery. Only problem is, I don’t play the lotteries. The other thing I want to be in the future is healthy. I do what I can to ensure this will happen, but there are no guarantees on this one and no amount of money in the world can change it.

3. What are some activities you enjoy doing alone? With others?

I like to read and write. I like to crochet. I like to eat good food. I’m not very social, but I used to be. When the kids were young, the entire street socialized together (usually on our side deck) and it was great. Where I live now is a bunch of hibernating people who rarely come out of their houses. I’ve lived here seven years and still don’t have a single person I would call a friend here. I have acquaintances whom I rarely see. I miss my old friends, but it was me who moved away, not them. In essence, I do very little with others.

4. How do you imagine spending retirement?

I believe I’m supposed to put something wonderful in here, but I’ve been “retired” here and I imagine when I retire again it will be the same but with Dick in the same house all the time each day of every day of the year. I will be bored and restless. I will be cranky. I will wait to fade away to nothingness. And I will write things almost no one read.

But I will say I want to travel (pretending I won that lottery I don’t play) or take up some activity I’ve always longed to try (I don’t have any). I have no idea what to really put in this space because in my reality, retirement mostly just sucked. It was lifeless and stultifying.

5. What are the things you absolutely believe in?

This one I knew. Chaos. I believe in chaos. I believe that no matter how much you plan, the plans never go as – well, planned. I suppose that isn’t the most upbeat thing to believe in, but there it is.

6. What do you most want to avoid in life?

I want to not die like Dad. I would much prefer to have the good fortune of dying like Mom. Far better. I have no control over that fate, but it is what I most want. The thought of losing my mind terrorizes me and if it ever slips away, I want to hope there is a Jack Kevorkian around close by and no one keeps feeding me anti-confusing drugs and prolonging my existence.

7. If you had all the time in the world, how would you spend your days.

I did have all the time in the world. I spent my days on forums, writing things few people read, and being bored. It was awful. I have no idea why people think retirement is so fun. (Mom used to say that!) It was awful and I am not looking forward to spending days in grinding nothingness again.