I’m a Fark fan. I’ve been reading Fark for many years. It is an aggregate site where forum users get to link to articles out on the web and write their own headlines. Many times, the headlines are more fun than the articles they link to. Many of the participants are just too funny.

Sometimes, they just quote something and then it is less humorous. But still … the quotes can be amusing in their own right.

Today, I clicked in to Fark when this was the top headline:

“…an actual Hershey’s chocolate bar contains only 4 to 10 percent chocolate, and even organic chocolate bars generally list raw cane sugar as a primary ingredient”

And my initial thought was “Oh, my, I’m not eating chocolate when I think I’m having chocolate.” Then I went about the rest of my morning.

Chocolate - food of the gods

I need to make sure I don’t confuse anyone here. I did not RTFA (read the freaking [freaking probably isn’t really the right word there] article) because I didn’t want to confuse myself with facts. I’m going strictly by the quote that was shown on the Fark headline.

I got some chores done and then finally went about making my second cup of coffee and thought I might have some breakfast since I had been up for more than four hours. And as I munched on my Vanilla Almond Special K in 2% milk it dawned on me. This wasn’t mostly Vanilla or even mostly Almond.

In fact, even my coffee, my adored and cherished coffee, isn’t mostly coffee. I know this because I make it by the cup. I have a Black & Decker single cup brewer and I put in one heaping scoop of coffee – about a tablespoon – and add ten ounces of water. Most of my coffee is water!

Then I started thinking about all the Christmas cookies I just baked. I made several different kinds and many of them had chocolate in them. I don’t use baking chocolate, but use the powdered stuff and add the oil. Three tablespoons of cocoa powder to one tablespoon of oil makes a square of baking chocolate. And don’t ever eat baking chocolate. It is horrible. That’s because chocolate is bitter and nasty.

Every chocolate cookie I made had more sugar than chocolate. And more flour than chocolate. And more shortening than chocolate. In fact, even in the most chocolate of the chocolate cookies, chocolate was not the main ingredient.

This got me to thinking about what else isn’t mostly the “main” ingredient. How would you like to eat some garlic mashed potatoes that were more garlic than potato? I love garlic and hate mashed potatoes, but even if I loved both, I’m pretty dang sure I would like more potatoes than garlic in the recipe.

Anything made with jalapeno peppers (or any of its hotter cousins) would be a little scary if the main ingredient was the peppers rather than whatever you are trying to flavor with the peppers. I don’t do spicy hot either, but I do like a few peppers adding some zip.

Every cup of tea I make, just like my coffee, is more water than tea.

I use lots of salt, but it is never the main ingredient. However, I can certainly over salt things even when it is less than a teaspoon.

I am not upset by there being not very much chocolate in my candy bars. In fact, I look for the ones that aren’t too much cocoa and are more sugar. I don’t want the bitter taste, I want the smooth creamy delectable mixture of cocoa, sugar, and fat. It is delicious.

I may just have to read both the article and the Fark comments, just to see how outraged people can get.