Know thyself. That’s the adage and it works really well. I know I am not going to give up my special foods no matter what sort of diet I adopt. I have been on a c-food diet for as long as I can remember: chips, chocolate, and coffee.

I’m not all that adamant about chips, but I really get a taste for them from time to time. I have cut way back on my coffee consumption. That isn’t strictly true. I have cut back tremendously on my caffeine intake, but I have been drinking half-caf coffee or decaf coffee to satisfy my taste buds. And keep me hydrated.

But chocolate. The blissful, seductive, delicious, necessary food – chocolate. I love chocolate. I have chocolate around me nearly all the time. If not immediately at hand, it is very close by or could be at the drop of dollar.

In my house, I have bowls of chocolate sitting out. I’m still losing weight. Because I don’t have to eat a lot of chocolate to make me happy. I just need to have some. One little Bliss bite (six are a serving) can make me happy. One Ghirardelli square can keep me happy (three are a serving). One (maybe two) almond M&Ms can keep me happy (1/4 cup is a serving).

But what I really like is nice creamy smooth melt-in-your-mouth chocolate. I bought a bunch of $2-4 candy bars, each of which were 2-3 servings. In the last month, I’ve eaten five of them. I’m on my sixth one. I opened it up last night. It is the first time I’ve been disappointed with my choice.

The candy in question - wrapper saved from the garbage for the simple purpose of writing this blog.

The bar is made by Scharffen Berger. Apparently the company is out of Burbank, California. On the package it says it is Extra Rich Milk Fine Artisan Chocolate. It actually says those very words. I could not make such good copy up on the fly like this.

It is 41% cacao and sounded like it would be really great, creamy, melt-in-your-mouth chocolate. Since I’m writing about this, we can assume I’m not entirely happy with the product.

First of all, it is scored funny. The bar was meant to be two servings, according to the nutrition information. It did break in half nicely. Good start. Then each half was four triangles. Now, I need my candy to last a while. I can eat an entire candy bar in a matter of seconds, but that’s why I got too fat in the first place.

If I want to enjoy my chocolate, I need to savor my chocolate. I do this by having small bites throughout my evening and doing that whole melt-in-the-mouth thing. I make my chocolate last.

This broke up into small pieces, all oddly shaped. That’s not an insurmountable problem, but it didn’t help with my satisfaction quotient at all. There is no need to make your product less easy to eat. I’m not sure if anyone who produces the bar thought about this, but I’m really weird and I did think about it. And I disapproved.

Next, I sat down and took one of my oddly shaped pieces of chocolate and put it in my mouth and waited for the delectable melting process to begin. I waited some more. Not much melting going on. I’m not always completely mindful while eating. In fact, I’ve been listening to a Great Courses presentation and crocheting while eating. So I wasn’t thinking hard enough to keep from my next bad choice.

I bit into the chocolate.

This makes chocolate disappear all too quickly. My next move is then to take another piece of chocolate. This, too, is how I got too fat in the first place.

If one is patient enough for long enough, the chocolate does eventually melt. But even then it isn’t the best of the types of bars I’ve tried so far. It isn’t the worst candy I’ve ever had. But I wouldn’t walk far out of my way to get another one of these bars. I will finish this one, but I sure hope there isn’t a second one lurking in my stack of chocolate bars hiding in the pantry.


PS I wrote this on Monday. The first half of the bar lasted three days and I’m on the second half (as pictured above). It will last at last through this evening and maybe tomorrow. This is about how long I can make these last because I really do savor the small pieces of chocolate. I’ve forgotten twice so far and when it didn’t melt fast enough, I’ve bit into the stuff. I wouldn’t agree with the packaging verbiage. It isn’t horrible, but it isn’t really great.