I am stuck living with an HOA because I was stupid a second time. I knew I was stupid as I was buying the house, but with job transfers, moving isn’t an option after you have already said you would move.

That, and I needed to be on a golf course. And so, I live with an HOA which is nothing more than a group of self important power hungry idiots who can’t manage their way out of a cul de sac who now get to tell me what to do.

The only people who actually benefit from the whole HOA scam are the Management Companies who take a huge cut off the top so they can screw with us. They don’t actually do anything quite useful, but they do bother the living hell out of the residents. They have their list of rules that CANNOT be AMENDED, but somehow can be added to at their whim.

I’m not the only person who dislikes HOAs. In fact, only insane people actually like HOAs, if my assessments are correct.

The whole purpose of this was to protect the value of my home. I think any and all HOA institutions who did not manage to protect the values of the homes in the last five years should have to pay restitution to the home owners who were so sorely used, and then disband and be relegated to the trash heap where they belong.

My home lost value in the last five years. Everybody’s homes have lost value. That means HOAs have been proven to be nothing more than scams. They have failed to live up to their stated purpose.

I would like to offer Congress a chance to do something meaningful rather than just keep raising my taxes. They could outlaw HOAs completely. Disband them. Get rid of them. Let private property owners once again own their property.

If only this were true

I found a link to the top seven insane HOA rules.

1. Thou shalt not plant too many roses – some guy in California lived on four acres and had over 14 rose bushes. He fought the HOA, they won and he ended up not only losing his case, but his house.

2. Thou shalt not use “inconsistent” shingles — even after a plane destroys thy house – a man who lost his wife and child when a plane crashed into his house, tried to rebuild. The HOA was against it because he didn’t place the house in the proper spot and horror of horrors, his roofing shingles didn’t match the neighbors’ houses.

3. Thou shalt not post a “For Sale” sign – my own HOA has this rule because if anything lowers your property values, it is having For Sale signs in the yards. It is much better to have houses that have been foreclosed and sit empty with weeds growing in the yards.

4. Thou shalt not offer thy homeless granddaughter shelter – I had read about this one before. Grandparents got custody of their grandchild and the senior community wanted her out. The grandparents couldn’t sell their house even after lowering the price from $250,000 to $129,000. The child is back to being in the care of the courts. I hope these HOA people sleep well [sarcasm font missing].

5. Thou must carry thy dog at all times – a woman who walks with a cane was fined $25 each time her cocker spaniel walked through the community lobby, which she needed to do to get to her condo. The woman was forced to move because her pet’s feet weren’t allowed on the floor, just in case the dog peed. Not that it did, mind you, but it might. I think if I was this woman, I would have peed on the floor myself as I was moving out.

6. No smoking — even in thy own bathroom – really? Not even in your own house? Well, that second hand smoke is some powerful stuff. I wonder if anyone drives a car in the area because that carbon monoxide is just plain safe. And diesel engines, those are really nice.

7. Thou shall maintain a consistently green lawn – some guy got in a whole lot of trouble because he couldn’t replace his sod after his house payment went up $600/mo. Now, he really shouldn’t have had that type of mortgage, but he did. Again, a foreclosed sign would have helped this in what way?

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It is my assessment that HOAs are actually hurting the value of my home. Anyone in their right mind would think sixteen times before buying into a community where a bunch of idiots get to tell them not only what can go on in their yard, but what can happen inside their house. So I’m going to have a tougher time selling this (well, the kids will after I’m gone) because no one wants to hand over all their rights just so their house value tanks along with the rest of the country.

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